Monday, October 24, 2016


It’s October and I’m a witch.

Below are some potions that might be fun to make. These are from the internet so yeah…the internet…proceed with caution.

Happy fall.

For Prophecies:  Fumes made of linseed, fleabane seeds, roots of violets and parsley doth make  you to foresee things to come and conduce to prophesying.

For Youth:  Make a powder of the flowers of elder, gathered on Midsummer’s Day, being before well dried, and use a spoonful thereof in a good draught of borage-water, morning and evening, first and last, for the space of a month; and it will make you seem young for a great while.

For Invisibility:  On Midsummer’s Eve gather some fern seed between eleven and noon. Whenever you carry it, you will be invisible. But you must take care not to lose any of it; else you will not regain your proper shape.

To Find Out a Thief:  To discover who they are that have stolen from you and make them confess: take quicksilver and the white of an egg. Mingle them together and make an eye upon the wall with it. Then gather together all whom you suspect, and tell them to gaze upon the eye. His or her eye that stole from you will water.

To Improve the Appearance:  If you wish to make hair grow on your head, anoint it with milk and honey and fennel seed. Do this twice a day.

Damnation Powder: Burnt ashes from palm leaves, Holy water, Beer, Myrrh      Lavender, color: Black. Another very powerful powder used for hexing an individual you dislike. Sprinkle on burning incense while repeating his name nine times. Use with extreme caution.

Easy Wrath Powder:  Ashes, Red Pepper, Rose, Jasmine, Sandalwood color: Blue. Toss on any person who is angry over something you have done. Eliminates all feelings of animosity. Also good for overcoming hatred.

Goddess Bath: Obtain as many as you can of the following ingredients.  If you can't find each and every one of the ingredients don't worry, do what you can.  Florida Water [floral cologne] Fresh basil, Champagne Rose petals, One small can of evaporated (NOT condensed) milk, Vanilla extract, Coconut milk, Orange leaves, Fresh lettuce, Fresh aloe. The fresh herbs and the lettuce should be thoroughly crushed in a basin of water which is then strained as it is poured into the bath. The Florida water, champagne, a few drops of vanilla extract and coconut milk can be poured directly into the bath water.  Scatter the rose petals on the water's surface.  Light a white or pink candle and bless the water before you bathe. Keep the water pleasantly cool, or at least not too hot. 

Healing: Love, water magic, feminine mysteries
2 parts Willow tree bark
1 tbsp of vanilla extract
1⁄2 dried Apple or a dash apple juice
A pinch of Rosemary
Boil and drink.

Strength: Energy, fire magic, masculine mysteries, lust and resistance.
1 1⁄2 part white Oak bark
1⁄2 part Mint
1⁄2 part Orange peel
en pinch of Nutmeg or Cinnamon
Boil and drink.

Make an enemy move: Cayenne pepper, white pepper, 1 pinch sulfur, 1 pinch dill. Mix and burn. Concentrate on the goal while it burns.

Potion to ease a broken heart: You will need the following ingredients (be sure to charge them all before you begin):
Strawberry tea (one bag)
Small wand or stick from a willow tree
Sea salt
2 pink candles
A mirror
One pink drawstring bag
One quartz crystal
A copper penny
A bowl made of china or crystal that is special to you
1 teaspoon dried jasmine
1 teaspoon orris-root powder
1 tsp strawberry leaves
1 teaspoon yarrow
10 plus drops apple-blossom oil or peach oil
10 plus drops strawberry oil

On a Friday morning or evening (the day sacred to Venus) take a bath in sea salt in the light of a pink candle. As you dry off and dress, sip the strawberry tea. Use a dab of strawberry oil as perfume or cologne. Apply makeup or groom yourself to look your best. Cast a circle with the willow wand around a table the other ingredients. Light the second pink candle. Mix all oils and herbs in the bowl. While you stir look at yourself in the mirror and say aloud:

'Oh, Great Mother Goddess, enclose me in your loving arms and nurture and bring forth the Goddess within me.'

Herbal sachet for protection from negative energie:
1 tsp dried Anise seed (any kind of Anise)
1 1⁄2 tsp dried whole Cloves
petals of 1 small dried red Rose
2 tsp dried Rosemary
6 dried Bay leaves
9 inch by 9 inch square white cotton cloth
6 inch purple cord or yarn

Mix all ingredients well, then place into the center of white cloth in a pile. Bring each corner up to the center one at a time, in a clockwise motion. when all corners are up and touching, there will be four folds sticking out. In a clockwise motion, bring the corners of these folds to the center as well. Take the purple cord or yarn and wrap it around the cloth 3 times, just above the high spot of the herbs. Tie three knots, and let the ends hang. 

To stop someone who's being unfaithful:
By burning this in the evening, your partner will loose all sexual interest in others. Ex: When he/she wanders out at night to meet another partner, he/she looses interest when they go to bed.

You'll need:
1⁄2 cup of sandalwood powder
1⁄2 cup of lavender
2 cups of cinnamon powder
1⁄4 cup of lilac (crushed)
2 tsp of tobacco
1 cup of power seeds (crushed)
1⁄2 cup of orris root powder
2 tsp of allspice
1⁄4 cup of vervain
1⁄2 tsp of saltpeter

Mix it in a wooden bowl and cover it with a piece of cloth when not used. This special love blend has to be mixed really well or the result will be bad.

Dream of the future
1⁄2 cup of sandalwood incense
2 tsp of myrrh
1⁄2 cup of orris root (crushed)
3 tsp of frankincense powder
1⁄2 cup of moss
2 tsp of oregano

Mix well in a bowl, put on a tight lid and place it in a dark corner until it is to be used. Take 1 tsp and burn before bedtime. Take some of the mix and put it in a small cloth bad, sow it shut and put it under your pillow.

Psychic Simmering Pot:
If you wish to link your conscious mind with your psychic awareness, if you wish to use tarot cards or rune stones or other tools to glimpse possible future events, create this blend and simmer to stimulate your psychic mind.

3 tbsp of galangal
1 tbsp of star anise (or 2 whole)
1 tbsp of lemon grass
1 tbsp of thyme
1 tbsp of rose petals
A pinch of mace
A pinch of real saffron

Mix and charge the herbs in a small bowl. Visualize your psychic awareness as being under your control. Smell the fragrance rising from the herbs. Inhale the energies. Relax, chant the following words, and foretell.

'Starlight swirls before my eyes
Twilight furls its wisdom wise
Moonlight curls within the skies
The time has come to prophesize'

Love Apple Cocktail:
This cocktail is meant to arouse desire. Stir together in a saucepan 2 cups of tomato juice, 1 bay leaf, 1 teaspoon of basil, and a dash each of dill and Worcestershire sauce. Simmer the mixture for three minutes, then chill it in the refrigerator. Strain the beverage before serving. Dill is powerful enough to bring on proposals of marriage, so if you're not interested in marriage, you substitute with celery salt!

Aphrodisiac I - Passion Drink:
1 pinch of rosemary
2 pinches of thyme
2 tsp of black tea
1 pinch of coriander
3 fresh mint leaves (or 1⁄2 tsp dried)
5 fresh rose bud petals (or 1 tsp dried)
1 tsp of dried lemon peel
3 pinches of nutmeg
3 pinches of orange peel

Put all the ingredients in a teapot. Boil about 3 cups of water and pour it into the pot. Sweeten with honey if you prefer
Aphrodisiac II
3 parts rose petals
1 part cloves
1 part nutmeg
1 part lavender
1 part ginger

Boil water and let it steep for at least 5 - 10 minutes. You can mix it with another tea or drink it as it is.
Magic Tea - Birch Moon
Matters of beginnings and children; purification.

3 parts ginger
1 part lemongrass
A pinch of dill
A splash of lemon juice
Magic Tea - Ash Moon
Matters of the intellect; magic, healing. 2 parts angelica

1⁄2 part sage
1⁄2 part black cohosh
A pinch of rosemary

Do not use black cohosh during pregnancy, as it can cause miscarriage. Black cohosh is a sedative and not to be taken in large amounts.

Magic Tea - Willow Moon:
Matters of the Otherworld; healing, love, water magic, feminine mysteries.

2 parts willow bark
1 tbs vanilla extract
1⁄2 part dried apples
A pinch of rosemary
Magic Tea - Hawthorn Moon
Peace, sleep, dreams, prosperity, happiness.

1 part hawthorn
1 part catnip
1⁄2 part rue
1⁄2 part champagne

Do not use rue during pregnancy, as it can cause miscarriage. It can cause sensitivity to the sun and is toxic in moderate to large amounts.

Monday, October 17, 2016


Yesterday as I was recovering from another unfortunate night of self-immolation I was checking my Facebook feed and a post by Leah Dixon and Lauren Christiansen popped up and it grabbed my undivided attention. The post is entitled: JERRY SALTZ- THE DONALD TRUMP OF ART WORLD SOCIAL MEDIA and it had me literally grinning and laughing out loud. Essentially it is a take down of Jerry Saltz, an art critic at New York Magazine. He has been around NYC for a long time and my first anecdote of him was relayed to me from a doyenne of the gilded Soho era describing him as an ingratiating twit. This probably colored my constant distaste for all things Saltz but over the years Saltz has proven himself to be deserving of that prejudice.

Do I know him personally? No. Do I follow him on social media? No. This has been by choice because even without any of this direct contact Saltz still seems to ooze into the art world landscape even when you are trying to avoid it. The thing about Saltz that makes me so dismissive is his writing. It is bad. But in the art world that doesn’t mean much anymore. You can be really bad at something but still have a miniature power and Saltz has capitalized on this with an impish relish that luckily has faded away like that terrible reality gallery TV show he was on.

I’m going to say something a bit mean and crass: Roberta Smith is Jerry Saltz’ dick.

I have said this to many people over many years. What I mean by this is that the only real power/legitimacy that Saltz has is the fact that he is married to Roberta Smith who is an art critic for the New York Times. She is a good writer. She is respected. She has the chops and influence. I say it because without her I really have no other explanation of how/why Saltz has lasted and has been as vaunted as he is.

When I read Dixon and Christiansen’s very thoughtful and honest articulation of the massively pervy behavior of Saltz on social media I thought back to another thing I would say about him. When people would ask why I don’t read Saltz’ reviews or care to I would say it’s like watching Fox News. I don’t need to watch it just to say I have and if I do then it will only infuriate and perpetuate something that is vile and frankly stupid. The comparison of Saltz to Trump in their post really hits the mark.

I’m delighted that Dixon and Christiansen took the time to write this and they are better then I, and most of us, for not just pretending it doesn’t exist by ignoring it. It’s high time that sexist men in the art world are called out publically. Thank you to the writers and here’s hoping that the art world starts clearing out and taking responsibility for all this white male privilege garbage.

Below is a copy/paste of Dixon and Christiansen’s post. Enjoy!

October 15, 2016 4:28pm via Facebook

Leah Dixon and I [Lauren Christiansen] sat in our living room in Chinatown and wrote this. We had to get it out- for we are both angry and in a state of utter disbelief that we are here… and that we are both participants in its legacy. We both make casual comments to each other from time to time about how we can’t believe what Jerry Saltz gets away with… and why? On the heels of Michelle Obama’s speech in New Hampshire, we decided to finally put it in words- and to admit that we are fed up, confused, and ashamed that we are a part of an art world that is letting this behavior continue.

You would think by looking at Jerry Saltz's instagram, and viewing his general media presence, that there is nothing going on in the world besides the fact that half of the population owns a vagina. We have waited to see if he would eventually evolve… if eventually he might become interested in communicating something besides other people’s genitalia, and move onto a more relevant topic- his obvious and continued mid-life crisis. It only takes thirty seconds on Saltz’s instagram to see how destructive and trivial his interests are. How he is using his power to openly fetishize female bodies, in lieu of actually presenting valid cultural critique. Honestly, one out of every three of his posts is a vagina. LITERALLY… maybe even more. The even bigger problem is that you could spend not just thirty seconds, but three hours on his instagram- because it goes on and on. We just did it. It was awful, and most of all, really stupid. It is basically his entire personal brand… a brand that is brazen and unconsidered, and is hard to separate from his criticism.

So we have to admit that one of the first things we thought of when the tapes of Trump's lewd comments leaked was, "THANK GOD, finally this is going to make Jerry Saltz stop." We barely even payed conscious attention to Saltz on social media prior to this. However his weenie-ness somehow manages to noodle its way into our periphery... and then 1500 people "like" it. The more that social media uses optimizing tools, the harder it is to avoid him. That is why when the media became completely overrun by Trump's horrifying sexist remarks and scandals, we thought that it would finally drown out Jerry's irrelevant vagina obsession. But somehow- he just kept it up... like the sad clown at the county fair who keeps juggling even when no one is looking. But our misogynistic art culture continues to prize persistence and consistency over awareness. Like the more male artists/writers/critics who go into a white room, or their bedroom, and do the same thing over and over- the more we are supposed to praise their heroic pursuit of their own neuroses? Ok fine- but then they had better come up with more relevant content than representing a body part that 50% of us actually own in the flesh. We get it Jerry. We have one. If you want to know what it’s like, we would say just ask us- but please don’t. You have already creeped us out.

What is even more upsetting is that he is highly aware of what he is doing… so aware in fact, that he sometimes demands permission for his tendencies. “Please allow me one geezer sexist moment: EVERY time EVERY straight man sees a woman naked in person he thinks 'What a miracle. I am SO lucky.' Every time; every woman; every time. - I suck the cold air deep inside of me..." He says this as if women are mythical creatures inhabiting a far off land. How did he possibly manage make the female form about him and his luck?! The sucking air reference is apt, for it is a perfect metaphor for misogyny- which often times shows the buffoonish man claiming the role of both the aggressor and the victim- commodifying women, and then claiming misunderstanding, or a misguided attempt at adoration, as the excuse. This behavior is dangerous- and conceptually violent, for it allows the misogynist to inhabit both roles in the exchange. It leaves no space for the women at all... figuratively sucking up all the air in the room. Unfortunately in Saltz's case, when he breathes the air back out- it is tinged with a sour odor, that everyone is somehow supposed to be ok with smelling. Well we are here to tell you Jerry that your shit stinks.

Upon a bit of further research, it is easy to find instances of people in the art world calling Saltz out for his blatant sexism and de-valuation of women. It is also just as easy to find his responses. Here is an example of one of his responses to people denouncing his Facebook page’s portrayal of women… “I hope that all of these finger-pointing little Napoleons get a grip and go elsewhere." Sorry Jerry. We have vaginas. We have brains. And we are here to stay. And truth be told, we'll be here a lot longer than you will be.
Yet un-surpringsingly, every time someone calls him out- someone else zooms to his defense. ArtNews co-executive editor Andrew Russeth praises the “gutsiness” of Saltz. Russeth has this to say… "Everything would say that as an art critic, you should be serious, you should be really considered, extremely deliberate... He was willing to experiment and make himself a character in the public sphere."

Uuummmm…… WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We would like to ask, what's the experiment?! To see how much white men can get away with??? We already know that answer... a lot. Jerry has always been in the seat of someone who was going to get away with too much. He has nestled himself inside of a womb of entitlement. There is nothing bold or “gutsy” about being a misogynist in public. It's as if by calling Saltz a "character" it relieves him of all ethical and critical responsibility. It's like praising the idiot savant. He is an idiot when it comes to his representation of women, and a savant at taking advantage of a system that enables people to get away with it.

Since the beginning of Western art history, our cultural story has virtually ONLY been told by white men… so in fact, letting another one flail around un-checked is absolutely the LEAST “experimental” thing one can do. Why are we continually giving this behavior so much space? There is something borderline sociopathic about how this operates in the art-world, because like many educated men, Saltz proclaims himself to be a "Feminist”- therefore blocking him from criticism of the exploitative ways that he is displaying his so-called admiration of femininity. But a critical responder can see that by displaying his "admiration" for women, he is backhandedly attempting to define them… and he is doing so in the most carelessly flat, horny, groveling way possible. We aren’t even given the chance to have an open discussion with him. We would never want to sit in the same room with him, since he has consistently made it apparent that our words would be drowned out by his fixation on our nether-regions. It is violating and lazy. He is using attempted shock value to deflect responsibility away from himself as a contemporary voice, and justify his misogyny and commodification via shallow art-historical references. It’s blatant sexism hiding behind a shell of empathy and institutional allowance, with none of the accountability.

We are projecting that just like Donald Trump, his inevitable defense would to this would be “No one loves women more than I do!” Well Jerry. We don't care what you love. Shut up. You’ve had your time.

Saltz has said that he sees his work as flattening the hierarchy of art criticism. This is highly hypocritical coming from a person who told his detractors to “get a grip and go elsewhere.” On the other hand, the hierarchy is somewhat successfully being flattened- not by him, but by the thousands of hopeful voices out there, who are actually doing the hard work. With the increased empowerment and networking of artists- specifically artists who are women and or minorities, art critics have never been less important. It is fitting that a person whose critical tendencies leave him continually returning to more bigoted times in art history, might turn to shock value and “character” building as a way to keep the old dog from having to learn new tricks.

Jerry, we are not asking you to go away. We are simply asking you to employ the same level of imagination, awareness, and adaptability that is crucial to participants in the art world right now… especially the ones with vaginas. If you can't manage to update your schtick, then potentially retirement is an option. You are no victim Jerry. You cannot claim to have misunderstood. You don't get to say "whoopsies!" You have been very successful and had a long career. We are now going to spray some Febreeze, open the windows, and allow more air in for everyone else. There are so many other people whose voices and opinions are coming from a place of actual power… one that has been earned by doing much more than constantly noting each other’s anatomy.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Reminders Unremembered

There is this thing on my phone (most of you probably have it too) where you can list reminders to yourself. I don’t use it well. I occasionally jot down things in it but then I usually forget that I wrote a note and then forget what that note referred to when I do read it.

I’m thinking about this because I’m reading a book on memory, The Art of Memory by Frances Yates. I am interested in the idea, science, philosophic questions related to memory and the retrieval of it. For someone who is so interested in it, I have a really bizarre memory. I remember some things so clearly while others I really have no desire or imprint to recall.

I was thinking today how my instinct to jot down a note on my phone or on a slip of paper is a means in which I allow myself to forget. Once expelled from brain and jotted down, I can move on. Perhaps that’s a coping mechanism or a subconscious permission slip to be uncurious. I’m not sure but today I thought to look at this list on my phone and reading through it I couldn’t help but laugh at myself. Laugh at how much the notes did and didn’t trigger recollection of what it was for; its need or where I was in life when I wrote it.  

In a way, this is a bit revealing. I have also been thinking about this too, the strange dances and performances, I/You/We do in revealing ourselves to ourselves and to each other. That whole thing is a bit cringe but it is also ridiculous so I feel relatively safe that it won’t reveal anything actually so what’s there to lose?

I love looking at other people’s notes, lists, jots and markers on a page, gum wrapper, or ballpoint ink on the hand. I love the idea that something is important but also easily forgettable and our quirks and habits in trying to remember/forget both of those things is endearing and at times revealing.

From the looks of it, this list goes back a few years. As I said, I don’t use it often because I forget I have it most the time… well without further ado here goes (Spelling mistakes etc. left uncorrected. Some addresses and emails omitted for privacy of third party):

-       Schopenhauer world as will and idea
-       Wh auden
-       Edward levee. Suicide
-       Geore Oppeny
-       Henri Bergson creative evolution
-       Alfred jarry ubu roi
-       Bach c minor sonata violin christian tetzlaff
-       Tulume mexico
-       Animal architecture
-       Xenophon – march of the ten thousand
-       Nyc 219”x10 feet
-       Kiliam perfume
-       Hildegard von bingen
-       Falling angels
-       Orestia
-       Catullus and horace
-       Money spider webs
-       Albert york show davis and langdale gallery
-       Fallen angels
-       Fourteen nineteen
-       Green river cem
-       Through improvisation there is no failure- hypothesis
-       Jerry lewis branding. Success money kings of comedy adoptiok rejection. Charles lim scientist or theor. Affirnation sign of success. Photo. $ affirmation auccess.
-       Melting tiger lily
-       Baudelaire flowers of evil
-       What the use of dissonance?
-       Warhol “silver was narcissism-mirrors were backed with silver”
-       Silas marner george elliot
-       Adorno aesthetic thory
-       Art is funny show
-       Painting as form of bosy human emotional connection
-       Perly gates of cyber space
-       Allen ruppersburg
-       I have a drinking problem
-       Eugene (address omitted)
-       Wilthsire farmers market s Vermont ave and Wilshire blvd
-       Farmer market 6333 west 3rd st
-       Turrell. We create the reality which we live
-       Mary corse
-       Netsuke
-       Tony matelli ff
-       Erewhone
-       A box with fur and story headphones
-       Performance of female porn sounds. Words
-       Mercado wrapped goods in tarp
-       Balloons in a corner
-       Buy table T mercado when it is wrapped
-       Water lover luce
-       Muay thai boxing
-       Make a book about art world stats. Consensus
-       Jean Cocteau
-       30 x 4 : 8x8 : 50.5
-       Jeremy parker
-       Norm heather
-       Pc music alex cook
-       Heads up
-       (email omitted)
-       Driads
-       2 ravens odin though memory
-       Espn jeers show
-       (number omitted) max
-       Fishion herb center
-       Groove is in the hall
-       Idea of teeth and mouth in surrealism
-       1311 pacific st 402 between nostrand and new york ave
-       Nostaligia is the handmaiden of fascism. Mary Gordon.
-       (email omitted)
-       (email omitted)
-       Open office
-       I reflected that culture was simply the condition that precluded a mentality that tried to measure it. Adorno
-       Jean Etienne leotard. Trome l’oil
-       Food and art  food in art
-       (email omitted)
-       (email omitted)
-       (email omitted)
-       Bookworm podcast
-       Hsbc pin phone (number omitted)
-       The cell hackney
-       (email omitted)
-       Uk numb 074 3890 5355
-       (email omitted)
-       3 crown. Jack. Rohit.
-       Sad funny ironic is all i have
-       Horace (number omitted)
-       (email omitted)
-       (email omitted)
-       (email omitted)
-       (email omitted)
-       In praise of folly. Erasmus rotterdamn
-       Holbein the ambassadors
-       Its not a head it's the middle of a tree. “Or something”
-       Chris french. Population stereotypes.
-       sklhcvxf
-       Movie about Cambodian killers reenacting memory “the act of killing”
-       Jo rm 203
-       (email omitted)
-       Café des spores, hoopla geiss, colonel, le wine bar du sablon marolles, le clan belges, pei & mei.
-       House of vintage. Brick lane. Archive. Paddington
-       (email omitted)
-       (number omitted)
-       Norwegian slow tv
-       Feelings affect emotion
-       Simulation of desire
-       Whitehead. (Chang) speculative ecology
-       Decadence. Bosch. Collective. Hooror vacui. Synthenetics. Voice primary. Catherdral of sound
-       The hand. Feelings. Grasping. Known one as well as back of. Focus on research? Aesthetics of and past current art examples? Limbless in greek art. What dows that mean?
-       (email omitted)
-       They call me an investor of the arts. The dark art
-       Meipai
-       Camden art center
-       27.2
-       258 bus
-       Le Chartier commi food
-       You sound sad 3x
-       5164 (6 page)
-       Johannes painter yellow beard glasses. Rebecca lived in a flat till 2009. Was here for 6 months after opening. Leave as is. Artists/cyratirs stay only 2nd time used. Left as is. 3 bedrooms.
-       791 cerdit
-       24/7 book carey
-       166 wide 182 back wall 9 feet high
-       Moving sickness (prologue) 4 mins
-       Reclining women in art
-       Stendhal