Monday, May 9, 2011

The Internet Is My BFF

So like everyone else with a certain economic, education, resources, lack of physical labor, first world situation, I too am an internet junkie. I mainline it to my gray matter for most of my waking hours. It is crack cocaine for the visually curious, the limelight stage for social climbers and the costume room for shut-ins. It lets you be simultaneously the ultimate voyeur and spectacle. It is obscene, it is educational, it is a salve. It is also used by all the “evil” forces so it is a duck hunt for the less prepared but all in all it is a Bosch like alter world(s) where nothing matters, everything matters and it will be whatever you make of it.


My job requires that I use a computer for almost all day so my brain feels gooey most of the time. My retinas are committing suicide as I type. Being on the internet too long is a disgusting habit. I know that there is this thing called trolling. Just a few thoughts on this: ick, people stop the stalking, just because no one is catching you do it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel embarrassed by it. You are doing a disservice to all involved. You are not getting to know or see more of anyone, you are just being creepsie and the next time you interact it will feel even more estranged. Why do you want to treat your exs, kids, family and friends as if they were low-grade celebrities? Stop the insanity!


That off my shoulder, the internet is a fantastic and healthy (if you are not creeping) place to stay connected, for the personal and for interests. Making linked connections, following, friending, etc. benefits the cultivation of certain interests and also for those very ambitious in creating a personal brand. This brand is almost all that matters in some contexts. To create, promote, sustain and then to have it disseminated by others is not formulaic, although there are techniques. In the end this internet brand is like all other perceptions of things and people, if it has a certain “it” which can be seen and smelled in an animistic way, like seeing David Bowie walking down the street. Having this something, this certain quality or idea that others find interesting is essential. There are some that have this that are undeserving but that’s how these things go. I may naively still hold the belief that people, even in a mob collective, get “it” in the long historical-lens sort of way.


So what’s the point of this little rant-a-pant? I want to admit that I am a internet addict and I want to use the time honored methods of other addiction programs and do step one, “admitting that one cannot control one's addiction or compulsion.” I use the internet to learn about things, to stay on top of what is “new” and “hip” and “relevant.” I use it to stay in touch with friends and colleagues, I use it to fill my time in. I use it as I used to use television as a child, channel surfing certain sites, clicking through them over and over again in a droned hypnosis, trying to find something to cure my boredom. Something to take me away from whatever this minor drama called my life is. The amount of time in which I do this is, I don’t think, more then most but to me it is still too much. I will proceed now to list the sites in which I go to with regular frequency and will make short comment and I hope that after this list is completed, I can look back on it and wince and then hopefully I can move on to step two in this addiction program regime: “recognizing a higher power that can give strength,” hmmm, well I’m not sure about all that but here goes: (apologies if links in different colors html screwy)


http://www.16miles.com/ (Russeth, big fan)

http://aiyiyiyi.blogspot.com/ (embarrassing parts of my brain)

http://anaba.blogspot.com/ (he’s friends with a group of guys)

http://artforum.com/ (page 6 of the art world, sorta)

http://www.artnet.com/ (the artnews section for gossip only)

http://artobserved.com/ (this used to be good but now getting shitty)

http://www.artloversnewyork.com/ (she seems cool, consistent in what she likes)

http://www.artfagcity.com/ (Snark Town USA, residents 1-1 1/2)

http://www.artinfo.com/ (good for art business gossip, hate the black background)

http://booksireadin2011.blogspot.com/ (books are cool)

http://www.contemporaryartdaily.com/ (this is what is “in” right now, opps you missed it)

http://cafeconlesley.blogspot.com/ (she’s a girl)

http://dossierjournal.com/ (these people would never think I’m cool)

http://dismagazine.com/ (so so so so meta)

http://dragonauttt.blogspot.com/ (whoop whoop Arielle)

http://ebay.com/ (exclusively for “vintage 5.5 shoes”)

http://www.facebook.com (nuh-duh)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jamiesterns/ (moi)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/34040651@N08/ (models)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/40s44s/ (no idea who this is)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/59192912@N04/ (same as above)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/80833836@N00/ (hump)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/avenueoftrees/ (girl from suburbs)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/burgerbabe/ (abby)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/david-fishkind/ (fishkind)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/fullardi/ (cody)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/eheltokej/ (love her, don’t know her)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ghostlyhearts/ ( don’t know)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jjjalexanderhhh/ (salem)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jonathanryanstorm/ (VT)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/jordanjcastro/ (castro)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/knibley/ (Kevin)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/kristiemuller/ (like her photos)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/malloryannwhitten/ (girl)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/oldewyche/ (Dan)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/rayuen/ (guy I vaguely know)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/referenceartgallery/ (Richmond boys)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/sixteen-miles/ (Russeth)

http://www.flickr.com/photos/squidcuddlesinc/ (Sarah)

http://garfieldminusgarfield.net/ (Jon Arbuckle)

http://www.gargyle.com/women/new-arrivals.html (clothes I won’t buy)

http://gawker.com/ (trashy and stupid)

http://gothamist.com/ (good to see who got hit by something/fell off something)

http://iheartphotograph.blogspot.com/ (used to look at more often)

http://www.itisunderstoodhehadsignedtostarinavideogame.com/ (RICKY)

http://jamiesterns.blogspot.com/ (me again)

http://joshuaabelow.blogspot.com/ (champ of art blogs)

http://kioskkiosk.com/ (love this store)

http://lookbook.nu/ (I go here so I know what not to look like)

http://lacy-ass-dress.blogspot.com/ (Victoria is a genius)

http://norirolls.tumblr.com/ (me again, sorry)

http://amphicorey.tumblr.com/ (Corey!)

http://calladonofrio.tumblr.com/ (witchy goth cute teen)

http://cheshi.tumblr.com/ (met him in LA)

http://conorbackman.tumblr.com/ (reference kid)

http://contemporaryartdaily.tumblr.com/ (yurp)

http://creaturesofcomfort.tumblr.com/ (can’t afford these clothes)

http://dragonauttt.tumblr.com/ (Arielle kicks it)

http://indiansummer1992.tumblr.com/ (sorta boring girl)

http://itinerantart.tumblr.com/ (not sure what this is)

http://masturbationizaton.tumblr.com/ (teen gif drugs)

http://mollysoda.tumblr.com/ (dyed hair, pet rats)

http://nicholasgottlund.tumblr.com/ (runs cool press)

http://niggress.tumblr.com/ (crazy ass gifs, Britney Spears)

http://sannah.tumblr.com/ (was the first image on my fancy blog)

http://schiz0phrenic.tumblr.com/ (eyeball melts)

http://schuhtutehemd.tumblr.com/ (coolest clothes ever)

http://seeminglydistant.tumblr.com/ (stuffs)

http://slowcontent.tumblr.com/ (Brad Troemel bitch slaps the internet daily)

http://thenewinquiry.com/ (talky talk)

http://theparisreview.tumblr.com/ (blah blah)

http://top8friends.tumblr.com/ (weed)

http://weeatherhead.tumblr.com/ (not sure why still)

http://whorce.tumblr.com/ (salem)

http://nymag.com/ (approval matrix)

http://www.nytimes.com/ (I’m here ALL the time)

http://www.oogaboogastore.com/ (I like stuff)

http://perezhilton.com/ (I like celebrities)

http://www.printedmatter.org/ (I like events in a small ass room)

http://www.refinery29.com/ (sample sales)

http://simplyrecipes.com/ (recipes)

http://www.slowandsteadywinstherace.com/ (they said they would make the site better, when?!)

http://www.style.com/ (slideshows)

http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com/ (I’m ugly and unstylish)

http://www.thestylerookie.com/ (Ugg her)

http://tiny-morsels.blogspot.com/ (recipes)

https://twitter.com/#!/artichoke1969 (please don’t)

https://twitter.com/#!/adamhump (humps)

https://twitter.com/#!/AndrewRusseth (Russeth, again)

https://twitter.com/#!/apathyiscool (zachy)

https://twitter.com/#!/ConanOBrien (ginger)

https://twitter.com/#!/bittman (love you)

https://twitter.com/#!/Dameshek (daves of thunder, noooo!)

https://twitter.com/#!/davidchang (hot shitz)

https://twitter.com/#!/FrankBruni (snob)

https://twitter.com/#!/gabeliedman (big terrific)

https://twitter.com/#!/goutspleen (grrl)

https://twitter.com/#!/MichelinGuideNY (go vegan)

https://twitter.com/#!/NotTinaFey (bloop)

https://twitter.com/#!/peteholmez (agga)

https://twitter.com/#!/SamSifton (blahde)

https://twitter.com/#!/TheEdfromVegas (funny)

https://twitter.com/#!/whatspoetry (miles)

https://twitter.com/#!/xuhanwei (koh)

http://www.vvork.com/ (Yes, you are all the smartest and the coolest kids in class)

http://www.weather.com/ (girls gotta dress)

http://yayayagetarty.blogspot.com/ (me again, my ego can fill a god damn ship)

http://www.zacharygerman.com/ (zachy germy)