Sunday, August 28, 2011

Everything is going to be okay

Life. It’s complicated. The ups the downs and the mind numbing parts are just too much to stand sometimes. The matters of the heart, of the mind and of nature are uncontrollable for the most part and that is why religions, quests, and exploration of mind and body are fixations to us humans. I won’t go on espousing one thought or another or suggest some sort of cure-all because that is wholly private, personal and specific. What I will do is make a little list on a few possible remedies for some maladies and also some complimentary things to heighten the positive things in life. In the end, if nothing avails, just go swim in the ocean. It will make you feel big and small all at once.

Broken Heart – Cry, cry, cry while listening to Sinead O’Conner’s Nothing Compares to You. Go make out with someone hot but sorta dumb. Take a piece of paper and cut into small pieces. Go to the Greek wing at the Met and just sit.

Headache – Look at Vija Celmans drawings or paintings of the ocean.

Insomnia – Watch Christian Marclay’s The Clock. Write poetry. Watch Kurosawa films

Manic episode – Make cakes. Dance till dawn. Go look at Yayoi Kusama’s work.

Depression – Sleep. Take short walks. Learn more about outsider art. Read biographies. Do not watch TV or movies.

Tooth Ache – Stare at Cy Twombly paintings

New Pet – Make it capes from old pillowcases. Don’t give it a name that could be the name of a future ex.

Inherit lots of money – Don’t tell anyone. Quite job immediately. Buy yourself one nice thing and then live like you used to. Go to galleries and ask to see things you know you can, but probably will not buy.

Extreme Giddiness – As a downer: Go inside Richard Serra’s sculptures. Go look at Dan Flavins. As an upper: Watch Pipilotti Rist video. Eat things that have whipped cream on them.

Fear of Heights – Lay down, look at On Kawara paintings

Make a new friend – Go to a hardcore show. Watch Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Watch Ab Fab.

Tummy ache – Drink bitters and seltzer. Read about Duchamp.

Fall in love – Have lots of sex. Listen to bel canto operas or Motown. Hold hands in the Greek and Roman wings at the Met.

Death of a loved one – Look at modernist art. Lay directly on the floor. Go to a Cathedral.

Bored – Read graphic novels. Take a walk. Watch the movie Kids. Eat a hot pepper.

Jealousy – Make small effigy and burn. Do everything possible to look better then ____. Look at works by John Baldessari.

Money Problems – Get a public library card and read, a lot. Read Burroughs.

No will to live – Spend time with a 2-4 year old. Look at Magritte paintings. Visit every country you know someone in.

Hangover – Eat an egg and cheese on a bagel and drink a coke. Watch Peter Schjeldahl talking online.

Regret – Look at Van Gogh’s Postman: The Portrait of Joseph Roulin. Watch Aki Kaurismaki films.

Happiness – Go outside. Eat with friends.

Anxiety – Breath slowly. Look at Velazquez paintings.

Melancholy – Watch silent films. Read Jean Rhys. Read Hemingway. Read The Philosophy of Andy Warhol.