Monday, November 19, 2012

Breaking Up Sucks

There is nothing crappier to have to go through then a breakup.  There are various degrees of suckage dependant on time together, seriousness, feelings felt but no matter how you bake it, it is just the worst.  What’s funny about the whole thing is that everyone feels the same, at various degrees, of the same emotions and symptoms that occur from a breakup.  It consumes the mind and makes the simplest of things seem like great feats of accomplishment, like waking up, eating, sleeping, putting on clothes.  There is something assuring but also annoying that everyone feels the same things and that you know, they know, everyone knows that it will get better and you will get over it and things will just be just fine with time and distance.  But still you have to go through it to get to this golden place of emotional sunshine and god dang does going through it suck.  I have gone through this many times in the past and will probably go through it many times more (dear god I hope not) and watching friends both gals and guys go through it really makes one realize that as much as you can empathize with another human being and try to comfort them we are all singular universes within ourselves.  All we can do is get through it, help out when we can for those going through it and to know that life is a mess but worth it.

Below are some tips on breaking up how tos, dos and don’ts.  I’ve done or broken all on them myself at some point or another so don’t feel bad about it if you do too.  May we all find love or something close to resembling it one day.

Cry A Lot – It will help you fall asleep eventually.

Drink with Friends – Drinking by yourself will only lead to trouble.

Talk with Friends, Especially of the Same Sex – Commiseration is key to survival.

Don’t Drunk Call – Never

Don’t Drunk Text – Ever

Makeover – Face, hair, clothing, anything to make you feel like the not you that was with them.

Don’t Beg – Never a good look.

Don’t Be Cruel – Even if you’re the dumper, be nice, it’ll make things go quicker.

Don’t Ask For Favors of Ex – Makes them think there is a possibility for a second chance, which there isn’t.

Don’t Hang Out with Ex’s Friends – Even if you developed a friendship with them during tenure with ex, they are NOT your friends.  They are their friends. 

Listen to Music – Sad love songs or otherwise.  It’ll make you feel like you are not alone.

Eat Spicy Foods – Helps if you have no appetite.

Eat Sweets – You deserve it.

Clean Apartment – Results you can see.

Call People – Anyone, everyone.

Tell Everyone You Know – So that it sinks in as reality.

Make Out With A Stranger – One that you would never want to make out again with.

Stay Home – No one wants a sad person at a dinner party.

Stay in Bed – You deserve it.

Watch Movies – In bed preferably.

Walk – Helps to think, fresh air is good.

Exercise – I don’t but I heard it helps.

Read – Fiction.

Take Lots of Showers or Baths – Hot water = remember the womb time.

Go on Dates – Even if you don’t want to or like them, it will help you remember you a’ight.

Hug A Cat – If you don’t have one, borrow one.

Watch Cat/Animal/Cute Things Online – Works every time.

Go See Art – Makes things seem small.