Monday, September 26, 2016

Can’t Be Bothered



It’s Monday. I’m sitting at my desk at work and staring blankly at the screen trying to think but I can’t think because I hosted a dinner party and drank too much and talked too much and didn’t get to bed until 2:30am. While thinking about what the hell I should write about I thought about last year. What state of mind was I in last year around this time? I went through the archives on this thing and it looks like not much has changed. The post from September 28, 2015 is entitled My Brain Melted and All I have Now is Goo. Wow. Not much has changed apparently. Should this make me feel existentially mortified? Yes but I don’t care, not today. I just can’t be bothered with anything today. So in the spirit of not giving a crap about it all I will do a replay of last year’s post aka, this is going to be stupid. Below are just random thoughts because that’s all I have to offer today, this week, and apparently ever.


Whenever someone pours themselves a full glass, like almost to the top of the glass, of wine I always think certain things about them.

Back in the day they didn’t have mirrors.

Back in the day everyone basically watched/heard everyone else having sex because they had servants or were poor.

I remade the same meal for a dinner party and I felt guilty.

Why do people like cocktails? They suck.

Stendhal’s Red and Black was a good book. He went on too much about politics sometimes but it was good nonetheless. The characters felt so cliché to a point of almost dull but I guess that’s always the case because people are dumb clichés.

I have the least amount of money that I have ever had in my life in my bank account because my landlord cashed two rent checks at once and I never look at my accounts. I’m actually poor.

I’m going on a date with a guy on Thursday and I might actually like him and he might actually like me back. Weird.

Nail polish only lasts two days on me before it starts chipping. Why?????

I haven’t hung out with certain friends for a while and I don’t miss them.

It’s not even cold out but I’m scared for winter. Sometimes I feel like my fingers are going to snap off. Like icicles.

I say rude things when I’m in groups of people because I want them to have something to talk about.

The art world seems really boring at the moment.

I saw Klaus Biesenbach and Peter Eleey having dinner at a diner near MoMA the other day. I think Peter Eleey is a silver fox.

I forgot my planner today. It shows the month out in squares. I literally have no idea what I’m supposed to do this week.

When you are getting to know someone it’s hard to remember what you want to know about them so you ask them generic questions and hope that after you ask enough of them having there mouth on your mouth seems like an okay thing to do.

I want to be friends with someone I dated for a bit but he wants nothing to do with me and I don’t care about that but I like to win.

When people tell me they don’t read books I feel like their head just floated away like a balloon.

I’m becoming an old lady. I do old lady things like flower arranging, go to church to hear organ music and wait for the day that will release me from this mortal coil.

People who think that being in the 20s is the best are the worst.

Guys who look like bros makes me feel like god got drunk and should say ‘my bad.’

Pretty sure most people think I’m an asshole because I often act like an asshole.

I tried to make an appointment for a therapist but I’m too poor now so I’m stuck being poor and crazy I guess.

People just need to calm the fuck down about gender.

It must suck being a white person. I mean obviously it’s the best but it must suck nonetheless.

That feeling when you wake up in someone else’s bed and you forgot you were there and then you go to the bathroom because you know you have morning breath and then you see your reflection and you think ‘jesus fucking christ.’

When you break something and you bury it in the trash a little because you don’t want anyone else to see it but you also don’t want to get your hands dirty.

That time of the month when you have no sex drive.

When you want to ride your bike around the city but you have a social disease that is only cured by alcohol consumption.

That moment you talk to one of your friends and realize they are an insufferable ass and you mentally cross off their name in your mind.

Sometimes I actually feel good. Surprise!

When people say ‘born this way’ my head feels tight.

I wish one of my best friends was an actual genius so I could go to genius parties with them.

Rome seemed cool. I want to name something Agrippa.

Sometimes I go the bathroom at work just to get sunlight.

All the young kids are wearing slip dresses. Funny.

I can’t figure out how to use Instagram story. Like wtf is wrong with me? #oldperson.

Everyone should tell more lies because it would make things more interesting and confusing.

Having a job is cool.

One arm pushup seems hard. #wintergoal

It’s weird to think how many people we hug without actually feeling any affection for them.