I don’t like
that phrase, ‘new year, new me.’ What does that even mean? It’s what basics say
and decal all over their whatevers at the end of a year. Got it, thanks. It is
the New Year though and although we don’t want to act like the basics it does
have meaning, or at least roots. It’s pagan and gravity and sunrays and the
stars. The big stuff that is sometimes ridiculous but also has an undeniable
sense of truth and constancy.
So what does a
new year mean? It’s a time to reflect, measure and to set ‘goals’ or something
along those lines for the coming year. Even though that seems contagiously
regular, it still feels necessary. This time of year creates a setting that
enables this sort of behavior. While it is busy with familial formalities, it
also suspends obligations and expectations; leaving room for these future/past wishes
to break free or take root.
I’m not sure
what I really want to change about me at the moment. I’m happy and unhappy
about a lot things in my life but I also think that is utterly besides the
point so what’s the fuss and bother? Still, I can’t help but be thinking about
this today, so here we go.
Below are some
things that I want to change or pursue or whatever you want to call it for
myself and the larger scope of things. None of it really matters that much to
me but hey, I’m being basic and it sort of feels good.
Here’s to a
healthy and prosperous new year. May you get every damn thing you wish for.
Be nicer to men
– Really, I am just the worst! (ha!) But really, I am the least fun person to
date these last few months because I have zero patience for mediocrity. This
can be seen as an asset but trust me, I’m so mean to the men I date that it
really is a touch cruel. I’m going to be nicer and if that doesn’t work then
I’ll be asexual until I can be.
Save money –
I’ve always been really good with my finances until this summer. There was a
numbers fluke that I never recovered from and for the first time since I was
twelve, I am in the red with money. It’s okay though. Having to change your
life financially is interesting and challenging. I weirdly look forward to
being frugal.
Exercise – Me
and this flesh bag have some time to go still so yeah, got to get on that
fitness regime.
Politics blah
blah – This coming year is going to be shit re: actualities of politics and
though I am not a certified ‘wonk’ I will be following things very closely. I
look forward to talking to people about these things in the coming months but I
also am NOT looking forward to talking about it as well. Having a good
conversation about politics is like having a good conversation about art. It
seems easy but it’s not and when it is bad it’s mortifying for everyone.
Go to church –
Not for religion but for the architecture, organ music and chorus.
Explore
graveyards – I have decided that the graveyards in NYC are better then any
of its parks.
Drinks and Drugs
– Too old for this shit.
Write More – I’m
going to write more poetry, critical papers, aphorisms and not show them to
anyone ever.
Sensitive – For
those that don’t know me very well (most everyone) I can be a real tough
cookie sometimes. I’m going to try to be not so tough this year. (unless you are an idiot
asshole.)
Books! – Not
sure why I don’t read as much as I want to. (damn internet TV) Please send
recommendations!
Help strangers –
Little things everyday.
Bye-bye baggage
– It’s the time of Capricorn and that supposedly means that there is some heavy
baggage life shit weighing us all down and that now is the time to release
ourselves from this. It is so creepy true. I have been shedding bad weight in
all areas of my mind and life and it’s amazing! Goodbye shitty people I don’t care
about! Goodbye crappy lovers! Goodbye guilt filled obligations! Goodbye polite,
dull conversations! Goodbye bad habits! Goodbye bad memories! Goodbye!
