Monday, January 2, 2017

New Year, New Me

I don’t like that phrase, ‘new year, new me.’ What does that even mean? It’s what basics say and decal all over their whatevers at the end of a year. Got it, thanks. It is the New Year though and although we don’t want to act like the basics it does have meaning, or at least roots. It’s pagan and gravity and sunrays and the stars. The big stuff that is sometimes ridiculous but also has an undeniable sense of truth and constancy.

So what does a new year mean? It’s a time to reflect, measure and to set ‘goals’ or something along those lines for the coming year. Even though that seems contagiously regular, it still feels necessary. This time of year creates a setting that enables this sort of behavior. While it is busy with familial formalities, it also suspends obligations and expectations; leaving room for these future/past wishes to break free or take root.

I’m not sure what I really want to change about me at the moment. I’m happy and unhappy about a lot things in my life but I also think that is utterly besides the point so what’s the fuss and bother? Still, I can’t help but be thinking about this today, so here we go.

Below are some things that I want to change or pursue or whatever you want to call it for myself and the larger scope of things. None of it really matters that much to me but hey, I’m being basic and it sort of feels good.

Here’s to a healthy and prosperous new year. May you get every damn thing you wish for.

Be nicer to men – Really, I am just the worst! (ha!) But really, I am the least fun person to date these last few months because I have zero patience for mediocrity. This can be seen as an asset but trust me, I’m so mean to the men I date that it really is a touch cruel. I’m going to be nicer and if that doesn’t work then I’ll be asexual until I can be.

Save money – I’ve always been really good with my finances until this summer. There was a numbers fluke that I never recovered from and for the first time since I was twelve, I am in the red with money. It’s okay though. Having to change your life financially is interesting and challenging. I weirdly look forward to being frugal.

Exercise – Me and this flesh bag have some time to go still so yeah, got to get on that fitness regime.

Politics blah blah – This coming year is going to be shit re: actualities of politics and though I am not a certified ‘wonk’ I will be following things very closely. I look forward to talking to people about these things in the coming months but I also am NOT looking forward to talking about it as well. Having a good conversation about politics is like having a good conversation about art. It seems easy but it’s not and when it is bad it’s mortifying for everyone.

Go to church – Not for religion but for the architecture, organ music and chorus.

Explore graveyards – I have decided that the graveyards in NYC are better then any of its parks.

Drinks and Drugs – Too old for this shit.

Write More – I’m going to write more poetry, critical papers, aphorisms and not show them to anyone ever.

Sensitive – For those that don’t know me very well (most everyone) I can be a real tough cookie sometimes. I’m going to try to be not so tough this year. (unless you are an idiot asshole.)

Books! – Not sure why I don’t read as much as I want to. (damn internet TV) Please send recommendations!

Help strangers – Little things everyday.

Bye-bye baggage – It’s the time of Capricorn and that supposedly means that there is some heavy baggage life shit weighing us all down and that now is the time to release ourselves from this. It is so creepy true. I have been shedding bad weight in all areas of my mind and life and it’s amazing! Goodbye shitty people I don’t care about! Goodbye crappy lovers! Goodbye guilt filled obligations! Goodbye polite, dull conversations! Goodbye bad habits! Goodbye bad memories! Goodbye!