Monday, February 27, 2017

Mental House Cleaning

Yes, it’s another Monday. Yes, I’m still alive. The last few weeks have been s-h-i-t-t-y but now things are sort of getting back on track and my mind is basically back to normal (or as normal as it can ever be) and although this blog is like a Sisyphean ball and chain, here we are again.

I have lots I want to go into depth with but I’m still a bit fuzzy and frankly exhausted, so today you are in for one of my blah-blah-blah posts. As always, feel free to close tab now if you care at all about anything good and holy. If not, come along as I de-clutter my mind of my throwaway thoughts.

Sex in the City - I’m watching this for the first time ever and WOW have I got a lot to say about this. I’m going to do a post once I watch the whole thing, (3+ seasons to go) but I’m just mentioning it now because it is going to be a goddamn diatribe. Wow. That show. So many issues. So so many things to hack apart. For those that love this show, try to convince me before I rip it to shreds.

Spring Clothes - While watching this show I thought about something else. Clothes. This show is known for its Patricia Fields styling and I couldn’t help but feel like a pathetic sack in my 3XL sweater and sweat pants and I kept thinking, ‘damn girl, step it up!’ Every women knows this feeling. In Winter you were allowed to burrow deep under layers of flesh protective swaths of fabric but dun, dun dun, SPRING IS COMING and that means you gotta prepare now. Because we have basically killed our planet we are getting an early taste of this now with 70+ weather in freaking February and while I just love sexy hot NYC vibes it feels way too soon and too fast.

Nonetheless, weather and fabulousness waits for no one so I am preparing myself now for my new spring looks. I’m on a mission to show more flesh this year because it is the brutal truth that in like 5-10 years no one- NO ONE is going to want to see my exposed flesh en masse in public. I’m also super into slacks. I love slacks. Have for a while but I want to be know as the girl that wears slacks this coming season. Also, not sure if I can pull it off but I think loafer (like) shoes and bobby socks will be super cute. Just image 80s Madonna on top, J Crew on deck and Paris school girl c. 1955 footgear. I know this sounds like a disaster but haha, c’est la vie!

Addiction - You either have an addictive personality or you don’t. There are degrees of this of course and which substances/focuses affects one to greater or lesser degrees but those that have an addictive personality know that it is a lifelong struggle. I’m not that bad in comparison to others. I don’t use substances or do things that put me in immanent danger. No hard drugs, no private deviant escapades. But I do have others; the slow and grinding ones that one can actually live their whole lives with and be ‘productive.’

Addictions are not just substances. They are can also be habits, feelings, ways of reacting. I have been thinking about this a lot and have thinking a lot about the concepts of desire. Some may recall my love of the philosophic thought of Alexandre Kojève and his ideas of desire. I recommend reading his interpretations and also thinking about the concept of self-care and addiction and the role desire plays in this. Heavy stuff here I know but it is important to confront these things and if using a mixture of hardcore philosophy with self-help steps is a way to address them, then I say go for it.

New Sheets – Honestly. What is a better feeling then brand new sheets, newly washed, put onto you bed and then you get into them a few hours later when you are exhausted and you think you are in a chariot to sleep heaven?

Donald Judd House – I went to this a week or so ago and it was okay to see but I’ve seen ‘old’ Soho lofts before and that whole thing was like just okay…. The furniture was cool and I want my friend to replicate the kitchen table in smaller version for me and there were other cool things and art and such but I couldn’t get the feeling out my mind/body that Donald Judd sort of seemed like a jerk. There was a coldness that pervades and I know that the Foundation has made this “home” into a tome but homes/places hold onto things even if they are lustered and managed away through small group tours. It all made me feel a bit sad. Not about myself but about him, his family, or something about the system of being an artist and projecting, consuming, and complying to some set of rules that are both written and/or intentionally broken. It felt diabolically manicured in its clichés! It was nice to see though and you should if you want to and also I would suggest not going while hung-over.

Chill – Imma get all hippy-dippy on all of you but being calm is like the best. Those who know me know that I am not calm – like at all. I’m actually like the anti-calm. I am the buzzy energy bouncy ball that would rather hit itself against walls then to stay still. But there are times when I’m like whoa. Chill. And I do, and it feels really good. Actually it feels a little freaky at first because it’s against my general nature but once you like ‘succumb’ to it, it’s easy. For those like me, or those that end up like me cause of the NYC hustle, I recommend chilling out in whatever way you can once in a while. I’m definitely not one that will be known or wants to be super chilled out all the time but it’s nice to do even if for a minute or two, even if in the middle of the city. Just stop and let everything buzz around you and be still.