Sometimes when I
get bored at work I kill some time and go to craigslist.com and look at the
listing of “Free” stuff. I do this because I think it’s a funny way to see how
some people live their lives. I guess the idea of taking time to post something
online, on craigslist, to take a photo of it and list it for free seems like
something different then anything I would ever do.
Below are some
silly made up anecdotes/stories and comments based on the images listed as of
this date at 1:06pm.
This is weird
but meh.
Black Leather Sofa (St. George
Staten Island) – Lawyer who is moving his office after he
found out that his wife was having an affair with his partner at the firm.
During meetings he used to sit on the arm of the chair and sometimes he would
place his coffee cup on the top of the seat. He always hated his wife and this
couch so he feels fine about all of it.
SBS
Technologies Digidesign Expansion Slot Chassis (Bedstuy/Ocean
Hill) – What the heck is this even used for?
Moving Out. Giving away furniture for free (Midtown East)
– All my stuff is from IKEA which made me have an okay life and maybe if you have
these things you too can have an okay life. (Sobs)
Sofa/bed and Chair/bed (Astoria) –
One time Bob, from the office, dropped by and we ended up making out on this
couch but then my foot hit the wine glass on the floor and we both decided to
call it a night. The glass didn’t break though. It was plastic.
free hens and all equipment(Rockaway
Park) – OMG, WTF. They are feeding the chickens spaghetti and they are named
after Jazz/Blues singers. WTF?!
Red and White Striped Chaise(Flatbush Ave) - We
make popcorn in the microwave at least 3 nights a week.
Excellent
condition (Brooklyn) – I have a van. Get at me.
IKEA -
Klippan LEGS ONLY(Upper West Side) – Hi, I’m giving away the bottoms of ikea
legs things because WHY THE FUCK DOES ANYONE NEED THESE? Maybe you do. Call me.
China Cabinet –
“Was good use to our
family for years, touch it up and make it the same for your family.” Gotcha.
CREAM
FOR Diaper rash/pressure sore-preventing cream-FREE (IRVINGTON) –
Sometimes you think that the world is a boring place but then you see that
someone thinks you need their supply of diaper rash cream and you think this
world is bonkers.
FREE
Medical Oxygen tubing, nasal cannula, mask, inhaler, brand new(IRVINGTON) –
Feel like this is from the same seller as the diaper rash stuff… #dark
Queen-size sleep sofa (Clean) & Loveseat (Stamford) –
Why does it seem like so many people from Stamford like to sell their stuff
online for free?
Free 3x3
Raised Garden Bed(Greenpoint) – You got to be serious. You are basically
asking me to get rid of a box of dirt for you.
Brita
Pitcher – I feel like people who use Brita pitchers are just not my
type of peoples.
Frank Frank Goldstein & Nager Mouse Pads (Midtown West)
– Hi my name is Frank Frank Goldstein. I ordered these mouse pads but heck, no
one seemed to want them. I guess Fran was right. Signing off, Frank Frank
Goldstein.
Shelves
– All these shelves yet so much emptiness in my heart.
Free Dresser & Mirror (Must Pick Up by Thurs
3/30) (Stamford, CT) – When asked if they liked the
outfit for the Murder Mystery Dinner, Chuck relied, “you look fine my dear.”
"Seat
and a Half" with Ottoman -- club chair -- easy chair --- lounge (Katonah) –
Sally used to read books in this chair with Dusty (the golden retriever)
sitting near her feet when she was a little girl. When she got older, Sally
gave David (the boy next door) his first blowjob while he was sitting on the
edge of this seat.
Lumber
Wood (Brooklyn) – Pick up this wood cause you want
wood right?
*FREE - Must go Weds - Moving* assorted great
kitchen items (Greenpoint) -
My girlfriend left me, my girlfriend left me, doo-da-doo-da.
corner
TV stand (SOUTH OZONE PARK) – What your interior design
looks like when you lost your will to live.
FREE 300
GLORY Frank Miller motion picture poster comic con (Midtown West)
– Dorky but loves to share. Seems like a nice guy.
Porcelain
Bathroom Sink Combo(East Williamsburg) – This is the sink that is in all those
bars in BK when you accidently vomit but you okay.
1960's
Industrial Desk••••••pickup only (Brooklyn Navy
Yard) – Artist desk in a far away land.
Baby Goat looking for a new home(NJ) – This
goat is cute super freaking cute. Poor goat.
Wooden Cabinet, Metal Cabinet –
Not sure what the heck I’m looking at…