Monday, June 26, 2017

My Boring/Busy/Beautiful Life This Past Week


Does anyone still read this thing? Ugggg, anyways here we find ourselves again. It’s Monday and the days and weeks and months seem to keep clipping by and here’s little old me just bashing my head and fingers yet again. I have been seriously thinking about stopping this project of mineblogging every damn Mondaybut for some reason I keep doing it. God help us all.

Anyways, thinking about what to write today, I have nothing, so instead I will do a quick recap of my life this past week. Read on if you care, if not, fine with me as well.

Monday 19

Went to work. It was raining a lot so I tried to evade a small dinner party I was hosting but that didn’t work so people came over and we had food. I made basically vegan food and there wasn’t really enough but everyone was polite and said it was fine. We drank wine and beer and I felt a bit underwhelming so I was less talkative then usual but still pretty chatty. Nice group of people, don’t remember what we talked about. Oh yes, Ai Weiwei for a bit but then I don't remember too much else. Oh, yes TV shows and how I don’t like to talk about TV shows in certain ways, it’s like talking about the weather for too long, but ya, we talked about TV shows a lot I guess.

Tuesday 20

Went to work. Went to my therapist around noon and didn’t feel like talking but by the end I was explaining to him how being objectified (since birth) makes is utterly impossible to not be defensive and well, pissed, a lot of the time. He seemed to get it but being a good doctor he was trying to convince me on how I could react differently towards all that but I was in a ‘fuck it’ mood so I agreed to disagree but it was a respectful conversation. Went home, cleaned my apartment a lot, made myself a giant bowl of guacamole and read Chekhov and chilled with my cats.

Wednesday 21

Went to work. It was hot so I walked around the East Village to take a break at work. Met up with a guy at Tompkins Square Park at 6pm. We climbed the fence and played cards and ate Japanese snacks. We went to Niagara bar where my friend was working and I had wine and he had tequila and water. A big group of people came in all at once. They were actors. The guy and I talked but I could tell there wasn’t anything really there. I told him this politely and he agreed. We left and awkwardly said bye. Like just turned away from each other. This made me feel sad even though I knew it was the best thing. Texted some friends. Went home and talked to my friend on Messenger and felt better.

Thursday 22

Went to work. Did studio visits for most of the day for a program through work. One of the artists cried but I don't think it was because of me (I hope). I think she was feeling overwhelmed with life/art in general. I felt bad but also didn’t understand why it was happening. Had a difficult phone conversation about another project. Was very upset for a few hours. Meditated to chill out. Went home and made myself a lavish dinner, watched TV on the Internet, read Chekhov.

Friday 23

Off from work. Went to the food Co-op to do make up hours. Worked and then shopped. Came home around 3pm. Made myself a very pretty caprese salad. Ate it too fast. Business partner and I made a tough decision and felt nervous and upset about it. Laid down until friend arrived. Friend arrived and we ate strawberries, drank beer and recorded a podcast. The podcast turned out bad because the mic was being weird. We will have to re-due. Felt a bit defeated but meh. Convince friend to come to opening with me. Go to gallery opening. It’s early so not too many people. Show is good. Talk to friends. Sit in the back and spray bug spray. Basically sit in the same spot for 3+ hours. I feel old but I don’t care. Drink too much. Go to the after party at a bar near opening. Drink and talk and feel bored. Leave without saying goodbye. Take car home, eat leftover pasta, text people, pass out around 2am.

Saturday 24

Hung over. Chill in bed with cats and watch TV for a few hours. Go next door to see friend to talk about tattoo. Both of us are low key too tired so we don’t do tattoo. Leave and go back on my bed to chill. Get ready to go out around 6pm. Meeting a guy at a bar for drinks. Arrive little late, hot and flustered. Drink some drinks. Go to a friend’s birthday party, guy comes with. Talk to friends, chat and drink. Put lots of temporary tattoos on self and others. Leave party, guy still with me but I’m over it. Get a nightcap because I don’t want to totally diss him. Go home, wish I talked to my friends more then boring guy at party.

Sunday 25

Hung over. Get up and force myself to go to the beach so I don’t feel like a life reject. Train takes forever. Pop into friend’s place to say hi to his cat. A guy I don’t know is there. I think he is on drugs. He is chirpy but a bit off. He offers me, acid, mushrooms, ketamine, weed, and cannabis oil. I say no thank you. I leave, feel weird. Lay on beach, touch water, eat food. Leave after a few hours. Make a basil and tomato salad. Watch Mommy Dead and Dearest documentary. Friend picks me up to go to an opening. Feel totally fried. It’s on a roof; the show is good for a roof show. Talk to people, say hi, congratulations etc. Feel physically terrible. Leave after an hour or so, feel guilty wasn’t in a more present state of mind to talk to friends. Swear to self (again) to drink less. Make some asparagus and rice and finish watching documentary. Stomach ache, read Chekhov and go to sleep.