Monday, June 5, 2017

Summer Wish List

Still broke everyone but meh, that’s okay. Poorness, or the privileged (also can we find another word than this? Hating it!) conception of it, is so very in vogue. The Minimalist lifestyle is the Millennial way to repackaging the shit vista that is our current and future selves and while that seems just, fine, it’s still annoying. I’ve been too busy to buy things or even try to wear something other than the same pair of pants for days (weeks) in a row, but still I love stuff and I love what money can give you access to.

Those that say they don’t like money are totally full of it. Money is great, but yayaya, being a greedy needy is just Ick for yourself and the planet, but still having some funny money does make things more va-va-voom sometimes. So below is a wish list that I am just daydreaming about as I take breaks between eating cantaloupe and thinking about the meaning of life and all that jazz.

Museum Passes for Life – Why do NYC museums cost money? WHY? It is tragic. These places are massive with massive endowments, funders, donors etc. I know that admission is mostly used to cover operations aka, lights and staff but still!!!! Museums in NYC should be free all the damn time not just on weekends where every tourist from Brazil to Finland camps out. PS1 used to be free then they weren’t and then people backlashed and now it’s free for New Yorkers. I think that other museums should follow suite. I want to see the Rauschenberg, the Yi, and get a dose of old school at the smaller spaces but I don’t have stacks of twenties to do so. Outrageous!

Bathing Suit – Eeee! Beach weather is around the corner. I’ve already gone to the beach twice, when it was those weird blazing hot days a bit ago, but I can’t wait to shrivel myself this coming summer as I do every year. But the thing is, is that I hate my bathing suit (I have one) and I have no idea where to get a decent one. All those stores on Broadway have these underwire things and padding and this crisscross whatevers that make you look like a party balloon string tangle, and ah it’s awful out there for a lady who wants something simple and cute. Where oh where is the perfect bathing suit? In a city full of hot bods why is it so damn hard to find waterproof undergotchies?

Large Painting – I have a lot of wall space, not a lot, but more then most and I want a big painting to just overtake a wall. Not sure what I want, nothing zombie Ab-Ex or whatever you want to call it now. Nothing that is about post internet crap either. I want a true-blue painting with colors and swishes and lushy surfaces. Maybe flowers, fruits, animals, perhaps a portrait… Something classic but also wonky. I want it to be BIG! Like 6-8 feet tall. If anyone wants me to ‘store’ their work for them for a few months, have your people call my people.

Car – I want a car so I can drive around this summer. No. What I really want is a car I can drive myself around but not have to park. No. What I really-really want is a chauffer.

Mules – Mules/slide shoes are in babies! I have a pair of slides and I say its like having business in front and bedroom in the back. They are like slippers but for the outside. Luv it. Mules are the summer equivalent of slides and while they are a little boring, they are very reasonable and comfy. You have to have comfy shoes to survive NYC summers. Wish I had a cobbler who could just make me shoes to my design whenever I wanted. Ah… the life I wish I led.

House by the Water – Someone with property or access to property to abodes by water please take me with you! I seriously am so jealous of people who have weekend getaway places. All I have is a MTA card and a yogurt container with leftovers. Gahhhhhh. But seriously, I’m like the best guest ever! Call me.

Outdoor Space – Like the above but this is even more desperate. I live in Bushwick, the neighborhood with like no trees…and I don’t have outdoor space or roof access. Not having this is slowly whittling away my lil soul. I feel pangs of suffocation when not around some form of outdoor-ish space and I would kill (kill) for this access. All those that have this in the city you are goddamn kings and queens.

Grill – Grilled whole fish, grilled veggies, grilled meats, grilled everything all the damn day long.

Vacay – Take me to Spain, Greece, Sardinia, or South of France this summer and I will love you forever (or at least until Halloween).