Monday, July 17, 2017

My Boring/Busy/Beautiful Life This Past Week, Part II

It’s mid-July. The concept of thinking about art is just about the furthest thing from my mind so instead I’m going to do another one of these things because it’s easy and I’m lazy and it’s mid-July.

Monday 10

Go to work. It's the first day for this summer program I am overseeing and I want to make sure everything goes smoothly. Everything seems fine. Listen in on the lecture class and impressed by the instructor. He is smart and doing a good job. Take a walk to the park mid afternoon. See a squirrel eating a peanut. Seems comical. Go to Prospect Park for a date. Walk in park. Talk to a guy who makes his own kites and is flying one really high in the air.  We talk about how I tried to make my own kite but it was structurally flawed. He gives me tips but I sort of stop paying attention because I can’t focus when people verbally tell me instructions. Lay in grass and watch sunset. Walk to get Mexican food. Scare myself and laugh like a dork about seeing shoes hidden behind a mattress. Get drink at a bar. Make out a little. Take car ride home and go to sleep.

Tuesday 11

Go to work. Feel tired but okay. Go to therapist and talk about nihilism more and my recent clip of depression. Go to the gym. Bad at going to the gym but feels like a beneficial thing to do. Go home and make myself a light dinner. Go to Greenpoint for friend’s birthday drinks. Get a quarter carafe of white wine and drink too quickly. Hit knee hard on the bench. Feel like I am talking too much but somehow can’t stop. Attractive guy is there that has a tattoo from a past relationship with a girl I know but didn’t know they dated. Seems fitting. We all go to another bar because the outside is closing. Bar is okay, empty. Drink more drinks. Talk more and then walk to the subway. Go home and shower. While in shower realize my IUD is not properly in. It’s my second IUD to fall out. ‘My fucking body wants me to be fucking impregnated,’ I think to myself. Feel pissed at the patriarchy.

Wednesday 12

Go to work. Actually pretty hung over. Surprise! Go to the OBGYN and feel physically not right, annoyed at life and my body. Doc says all seems okay but gives me some tests just to be sure. Go home early and contemplate my life choices. Clean apartment. Watch TV on the internet. Take multiple pictures of my cats throughout the evening and think, ‘my cats are my only friends,’ feel bleak but apathetic. Fall asleep at like 11pm.

Thursday 13

Wake up feeling physically better since slept like 10 hours. Go to work. Watch kids play chamber music in the park and a cute baby is dancing to it. Feel like life can be a-ok sometimes. Go to copy editing class. Not sure why I’m taking this class but somehow I find it interesting even if pointless in the big scheme of things. Meet date at Union Square. Go to a comedy show. Eat waffle fries and drinks beers while waiting for show to start. Watch comedy. Host is funny. Some comedians funnier that others. They all talk about their biographies in these very direct ways but I guess that makes sense. The last comic is very funny. He is gay and that’s a part of his shtick but in an interesting/different way. Take subway to my apartment. Hang out and sleep.

Friday 14

Off from work. Take cat to the vet. Cat cries the whole time there and back in the car. New vet, seems okay but little unhygienic vibes. They do blood work and also pop a cyst on his neck. The vet shows me the puss for some reason. Still is giving me the heebie-jeebies. Cat has a patch of hair missing on his neck from it. He is okay though. Go back home and eat some lunch and go to the food coop. Get groceries for dinner party. Take car back. Get in fight with driver because he started to drive away with my groceries but not me in the car. Literally chasing the car down the street. Pissed for like two minuets but then don’t care. Make another lunch cause I’m boss at life. Watch a few movies online. Supposed to get drinks with a friend but they haven’t messaged me about it and I’m sort chill with not doing anything that night so I don’t message them either. Finish reading Jean Rhys.

Saturday 15

Go to Essex Street Market and buy $70 worth of bronzino. Question my life choices. Go home and make breadcrumbs, and pasta with broccoli rabe. Guy I’m seeing comes over for lunch. Eat, hang out and then he leaves and I have to cook. Cook for 3 or so hours. Friend comes over to help set up table and chairs. Other dinner guests come. Twelve in total. Not sure why I’m throwing a dinner party. Make the fish, it’s a bit messy but seems good. Drink and talk. I definitely drink too much and when I throw dinner parties I can’t really eat so extra drunk and loud. At one point I think was giving some diatribe about leaders and followers. Reflecting back on it makes me cringe a bit. Not sure why I act like a Napoleon asshole sometimes. Go to friend’s roof/porch party next door. Everyone is very young. I drink and talk and I decide to leave after I drop my second drink while literally just standing and holding it. Know I will regret my life choices the next day.

Sunday 16

Incredibly hung over. Supposed to get brunch/lunch with friend but prey that he forgets. He doesn’t message so I’m like ‘thank god’ and I just lay in bed for 12 hours trying to recover. What I eat and drink to survive the day: Dorritos, Sprite, a peach, Indian snack mix, fake chicken nugget sandwich, pink lemonade, gallons of water, salami, cheese and crackers, dark chocolate. Have insomnia because by the time it’s bedtime I’m no longer hung over. Lay for a few hours in the dark contemplating my life choices.