Monday, August 7, 2017

Someone Told Me, I Told Someone




My brain and body are fried. Like an egg on black pavement. So readers you will get this weird thing wherein I will write what I remember of things said to people or they said to me in the past week or so.


Someone told me that I reminded them of a thumb tack.

I told someone that I would tear them to pieces.

Someone told me that they think I’m solipsistic. I forgot what that word meant for a bit but then remember and thought, probably not.

I told someone that they should stop working as an art handler by the age of 28.

Someone told me that they had sex at my gallery.

Someone told me that they are finally ready to go on dates again.

Someone told me that they might be ready to settle down and have a husband(s).

I told someone that they looked like a character in an old timey movie.

Someone told me this girl starts fights all the time.

I told someone that they were a shooting star.

Someone told me that their family is white trash but I think with affection.

I told someone that it didn’t even seem like they even cared about astrology.

Someone told me that I was intimidating and I told them, I know.

Someone told me that their boss was a liar seeking attention.

Someone told me that their cat runs across their new railroad apartment.

I told someone that I dumped two guys within a half hour of each other.

I told someone that I knew about an author but then I realized I didn’t but just went along with it.

Someone told me they had sex in the gym this morning.

I told someone that I loved it, even though I didn’t.

Someone told me that they needed a place to crash and I told them of course.

I told someone to never contact me again and that they were a disease.

Someone told me that I am only happy when I am arguing or being loud.

Someone told me that they wish they stayed with all the rich girlfriends they used to have.

Someone told me that they think gallerists who do a lot of coke is not a good look.

Someone told me that I looked like a movie star.

I told someone that it’s terrible to be a commodity all one’s life.

Someone told me that they have been reading Capital for over a year.

Someone told me that living in New York has been their dream since they were in first grade.

I told someone that I had a kidney stone, but I don’t.

Someone told me that all they want to do is make art as much as possible.

I told someone that they should make a different type of art.

I told someone that they didn’t need invisalign because they were already psychically perfect.

I told someone I looked bad but they said they looked bad too.

Someone told me that it was the best experience they had in their life and I believed them.

I told someone to fuck-off after they said, ni hao ma.

Someone told me to date twenty three year olds.

Someone told me that their sex life is dull but they will probably get married to them anyways.

I told someone that I’m incredibly lonely but that it seems fine.