Tuesday, September 5, 2017

Whoops, I Forgot to Blog (Again)

I’m in London (and Berlin-ish) for the next two weeks or so and I forgot to blog yesterday and I’m jet-lagged and have to go out with some friends soon so I really can’t blog all that much.

What I do want to quickly say is that lately I have been feeling like there are some big changes to be made. I’m not sure what they are but does anyone else feel like this? Some sort of stuck-ness, or possibly the staggering boredom of repetitions in behavior that feel like yokes of some sort. I’m not sure what is spurning this…Maybe it’s the start of a new season. Maybe it’s the looming new year. Maybe it’s new people in my life or old ones leaving or those relationships shifting. I’m not quite sure but it feels like an overflow.

Perhaps it’s the fact that I am traveling/letting myself travel for the first time in some time. Perhaps it’s my career and how it is steadier and also busier then it has been in a long time. Perhaps it’s the prospect of letting feelings be felt and vulnerabilities being shown.

Still I go in this circle of hypothesis, but yet I know that something will give, has to give. Yesterday I had all the time in the world to blog but I just forgot. I was catching up on rest and feeling a knot of something about nothing in particular. This total slipping of the mind is a bit odd, as this has become such a formula of my week, but at the same time maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe my brain is too busy processing things it doesn’t even know or can name to remember the set rules I have created for myself.

This post is really a bag of nothing and a way for me to just fill a page so I can get on with the living of my actual life. But I wanted to also throw it out there in case some of you are also feeling this strange compression/about to burst feeling.

Luckily for me I have jaunted off to other countries where this process of thinking about all these unnameable things can have some breathing room and my everyday is forced to be different. I am hoping through that whatever it is that feels so essential to change can come to the surface and for me to be okay with whatever that may be, regardless of whether I can name it or control it.

Till next week! I hope you remember what day of the week it is and that in your own way you can take a trip from your regular life and figure out some things as well.