Monday, January 29, 2018

My Life is Falling Apart but I Still Saw A lot of Art

CPLY at Karma

The title of this post is the truth, so I’m not going to go into that drama bag any deeper but yeah, here’s some stuff I saw that was arty or art related in some way this past week.

Koenig & Clinton Moved to Bushwick

Anyone who knows me knows I am a big Bushwick hater. Whatever. I have to get over it because duh I live there and duh, I’m probably stuck there forever because that’s just that but ya… I was surprised to see this gallery there now. It looks good, propoured floors and floating walls vibe. They had Roman Signer in the back. That was nice to see. He’s like a good-natured prankster that feels dated but calming and someone you are always happy to see, like an uncle or your grandma’s new BF.

Shows at Clearing

Still in Bushwick, yup, one of those days. I’m partial to shows that friends are in and so I can’t be too fair-minded re: shows with friends. So yup, LOVE Hannah Levy’s show at Clearing, duh. She is the real deal and she is going to be so art famous and taken vvvv seriously so ya, go see it so you can know in advance what’s going to be around for a while. It’s nice to see people working with materials again, metals, stone, and all that jazz. The other show is Rosa Aurora Rosa which is the an exhibition by Daniel Dewar & Grégory Gicquel. Very big slabs of Portuguese marble carved out with peek-a-boo shower scenes. I thought they were made by a woman. They aren’t and that changes things. Regardless, I thought a bit bulky but they are definitely impressive so there’s that. Millennial Pink and it’s sinister twins are everywhere in this space.

Richard Maxwell, Paradiso at Greene Naftali

Usually not my bagavant garde plays in ultra hip Chelsea galleries, but glad I went. Seemed like it could have been a pretensions disaster but it wasn’t. Also, a friend was involved so as soon as they came out all my cynicism melted away and was replaced by sheer pride and warmth. I’m such a sucker sometimes. The thing that saved the whole thing was that it was concise. It was only about an hour and it was paced and structures well so that it moved along even if sparse in every which way.

Hayley Silverman at Bodega

Again heart-you vibes but even with that tipped scale, this was a really nice show. Soft. Subtle, very relaxing but also a bit spooky. Use of glasswork was really nice to see. Also the lights. Nice to see lights used as an emotional synergetic material. Bodega is a tight space and this show really works with these restraints. Art that works in harmony with the architecture always feels fresh.

Karma – Group Show

Karma is the new ‘it’ ‘cool’ space. It’s good. It’s smart. This is a mix-max bag of paintings and sculptures from multi-tiers of generations and exposures hot, forgotten, or in between. There is a book history here and the idea of archive as art and art as archive is fully embraced. People want this; love it right now because there has been such a lack of content and context for a while. It’s cool; hopefully it doesn’t get the humor sucked out of it like so many other heady art things.

Women’s History Museum at Gavin Brown Enterprises

It was really not very good at all. The forcefulness of subversion in fashion/art/body politics contexts is so rarely done well but somehow seems to be the default. I also didn’t like the cutsie/deconstructed Marie Antoinette vibe that glittered throughout. Ugg, I just can’t. Sorry.

Jean-Luc Goddard at Miguel Abreu

This gallery is batting conceptual homes runs and man they love architecture. I’m usually not the hugest architecture/art fan girl but they have their nose on something here and this show is another case study for this. Basically Goddard wanted to make a museum. It fell through, here are maquettes of them. I’m into these maquettes because I like miniature things and because they make me feel like I am looking into a brain and reading a book all at the same time. It’s a little vague/flat in a way but I liked it even though it doesn’t change much of anything.

Monday, January 22, 2018

Stuart Middleton, The Gonks

Stuart Middleton, The Gonks, installation view

There is a lot going on about sexual harassment, consent, feminist agency, abuse of power, etc., etc.  It is miasmic and feels both liberating and heavy all at once. It’s a complicated and complicating subject because it is so personal and because it has so long been repressed by all players involved.

I’m not going to get into again on here, but I did want to share with you something that I magically remembered reading a few years ago. It was a part of Stuart Middleton’s show at Carlos Ishikawa in London in 2015. The show was called The Gonks, and it had a publication along with it. I remember really liking the show and finding the text perplexing, fascinating and shifting the installation in a way that was not expected.

I recommend viewing the images online here. And the most ideal way of reading the text is through their formatted PDF here, but for the sake of ease I am copy pasting it below.

I think this text is interesting because of its structure but also about the absurdity yet familiarity. I’m not taking a stance on if the narrator is villain or a symptom of some more insidious forces but read it. It’s revealing, appalling, funny and tragic.

Stuart Middleton, The Gonks

Hello Carol

Just wanted to ping you an email to say – Wow Last Night! I had a superb evening, and putting that slight mishap in the taxi aside (I’m certainly glad you didn’t let it get the better of you), can I just say that I really enjoyed your company. On my jog this morning however I did have a slightly anxious feeling that I mightn’t have communicated sufficiently to you the utmost importance that this ‘exo-work’ social activity of ours is to be kept strictly between the parties involved. Please can you confirm that you have received this email and understand what I am saying?

Don x


Hi Carol! Many thanks for your speedy reply. Are you available for dinner (7:30 pm) and perhaps the theatre this Friday evening? I have taken the liberty of booking two tickets however I will not in the slightest be put out if you already have plans as I realise it is rather late notice. Looking forward to hearing from you.



Carol Re last night: I would never normally have gone ahead with that. I want you to know that the only reason I went along with it is because you wanted me to. You did ask me to do it like that Carol and to be 100% truthful with you I’m not really into that type of thing.

I think it’s unfair that you got annoyed with me for ‘ruining the moment’ as you put it. I’m not a misogynist Carol. You know as well as I do that I treat everyone the same when it comes to whether they’re a man or a woman and the reason that I was/ am not comfortable with situations like last night is precisely because of the fact that I have a deep respect for women. That is why before we actually got down to it, when you whispered in my ear that you wanted me to do that to you, that I had to just clarify that I was only doing it for your sake and that I was deriving no personal pleasure from it (but only some pleasure as a result of seeing your pleasure for e.g.). In which case I’m sorry if being considerate ‘ruined the moment’ for you Carol. I do not harbour any secret desires whatsoever to perform anything like that on women for my own sexual pleasure and if at times, as you suggested afterwards, I seemed to be ‘getting in to it’ that was merely my natural tendency to take pride in and commit fully to what I’m doing, whatever that may be. This is something I apply to all aspects of my life, as you should know well enough by now, considering we have been colleagues for some time

There are a number of reasons why a respectful man, one who is against misogyny in any way, shape or form would be repulsed by the things you wanted me to do last night. I think that goes without saying. I must admit I was a little taken aback. I was surprised to hear that kind of talk from you Carol.

Something that you suggested last night is that (in your opinion, I’d like to add) that I have a hard time articulating ‘what I want’ in the bedroom. Well that’s because I feel that it is plainly obvious ‘what I want’ via body language etc. but if it is necessary to spell it out for the sake of compromise if we could just stick to the more romantic, ‘love making’ dynamic I’d be much more comfortable.



Well Carol, I hear you, and if that’s the case then I am willing to do that. Although in my opinion it’s demeaning for all concerned. I also feel like you are purposefully feigning ignorance to force me into stating the obvious as a way to punish me. If that’s the case here Carol, fine.


You are underestimating my strength as you know Carol I regularly go to the gym and when I’m there I do lift weights. Over time I have become very strong even though it may not be immediately obvious to the casual onlooker.

This aforementioned superior strength and weight could cause you injury, and although none might be intended by either party, things could get out of hand and with you being weaker and more sensitive I might hurt you more seriously that you thought you wanted. Bottom line here – don’t underestimate my strength Carol.

You might think that because I live alone and am ‘committed to my work’ (as stated in my prior email) that I am secretly harbouring desires of violence towards the fairer sex. This would be completely  as I consider myself a feminist Carol. Furthermore, going forward you might incorrectly read this ‘hidden urge’ into my behaviour outside of the bedroom environs which would make you unfairly resentful towards me, particularly in my role in the company as director. I believe in mindfulness in every area of my life Carol – for instance if I see the cleaner struggling with the bins on the days when I arrive early at the office, ill ask her if she’s had a good weekend etc. regardless of how many pressing tasks might be in my inbox.

I’m worried that this need of yours to be degraded as I see it is stemming from somewhere subconscious, from some past trauma (e.g. childhood) and I think you’d be better off getting professional help rather than indulging in perverse games that would probably push things further down below the surface where, ultimately they will end up doing more harm than good. The thing is Carol; I read something recently that was talking about a certain bestselling book and more generally about the effect of ‘popular culture’ (which as you know I rarely tarry with) on certain people’s heads. Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m not saying that your desires (‘kinks’ as the aforementioned article refers to them as) aren’t ‘real’ or individual to you I’m just saying Carol that you’d better look hard at yourself in the mirror and just check its not some product of our jumped-up overly self aware mass-media times. It takes a strong person to know what you really want out of things these days. With so many subliminal campaigns, and when what your seeing is basically misogynist pornography on the sides of busses how can you be sure what you say you want, you really want and is not some collaboration between a internet trend forecaster and some equally highly paid executive’s secret fantasies? I’ve spent the last couple of days on the Internet looking into this stuff for you and its absolutely rife, let me tell you.

I know you say you want to be treated roughly Carol but I don’t believe that you really know the meaning of that. I don’t think you would actually like it as much as you think if I was to perform that.

To be frank, I just don’t understand how you could think that by being violent and rough towards you was anything other than disrespectful and/or demeaning to women in general. The last thing I want here is to be some sort hypocrite going around supporting maternity leave/women’s rights etc. in the boardroom and then indulging in sexual battery and highly misogynist rape style scenarios in the bedroom!

Furthermore if you fail to understand that more sensitive and natural ‘sweet lovemaking’ is much more meaningful and arousing for all concerned then I’m afraid we will have to curtail these meetings, which as I’m sure you would agree would be a shame Carol, because I feel that they have up to this point been highly mutually beneficial.



Hi Carol, I don’t want to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I just don’t want to engage in gratuitous ‘rough play’ in the bedroom. Simple as that. I feel I have made myself very clear. It was one time, I didn’t enjoy it and I don’t want to get into it again. End of story. Now if we could just move on from this episode it would be beneficial for all concerned.



Also I am not ‘scared I might like it too much’ whatever you mean by that I think its ridiculous to suggest and now your getting mean which is uncalled for. In the future I’d advise you to respect the ‘closed door policy’ we have in the workplace as its there for a reason. If you are seen to be allowed to walk around, barging into senior directors offices without warning etc. If you go on behaving as if you are somehow ‘above the law’ then you will arouse suspicions.


Carol, I don’t know why you are refusing to respond to my emails, text messages and various other ‘olive branches’ however I will say that the comment you made in the kitchenette this afternoon was completely and utterly childish and immature. And Carol if you think that I’m going to rise to that sort of petty jibe then you hardly know me at all. Also considering the way that Rachel sniggered when you said ‘Oh careful you don’t hurt the teabag, squeezing it so hard with that spoon’ made me think that you may have shared our clearly private conversation with a colleague. All I will say in response to this Carol is: Make 100% sure all your ling, expenses, tax etc. are in order and up to date because I’d hate to have to let you go for something as trivial as claiming petrol back for non work trips, say.

All the best



I trust this finds you well, I hope that your recent short family break was restful and re-invigorating!

The reason for my email is unfortunate however I have reason to believe that one of our employees has been regularly submitting fuel receipts for trips made in ‘personal time’ for reimbursement. As you know our expenses system operates on that same thing the rest of our systems here at Sutton Ore run on – . All it takes is for one person to abuse that trust for the whole system to be threatened. I am writing to ask your advice on which is the appropriate procedure to act on these suspicions.

Many thanks in advance

Don Donald Sutton


Dear Ms Carol Clode

I’m writing on the behalf of the board of directors and management here at Sutton Ore  to ask you to attend a disciplinary hearing regarding the fraudulent expenses claims it is suspected that you have submitted during tax year 13/14.

It is your right to assemble any defensive and/or supporting evidence on the contrary to this allegation.

I have to tell you that failure to attend the hearing will result in immediate dismissal from your post as finance officer at Sutton Ore  effective immediately.

Sorry to be the bearer of hard news, and we on the board are all certain that there is a rational explanation for this and we can get back on with being a ‘happy family’ once again as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely

Don Donald Sutton


Carol I apologise for my repeated attempts to contact you via telephone late last night. It was a gross miscalculation on my part and I wont be ‘crossing the line’ like that again you can be sure of that! Mike from  told me about the situation with your brother, which I wasn’t aware of and whilst recent events must doubtless make such personal things even more difficult to deal with, I hope you understand that we have to play some things by the book. I built this business up from the ground and I had no one looking out for me when I slipped up, no one to teach me. One of the things I’ve learnt along the way: sometimes there’s no alternative but to learn the hard way. I failed time and time again and I just hope you’ll be able to look back on this as a learning experience. And anyway its out of my hands at this point, but I wish you the very best of luck going forward.

All the best

Monday, January 15, 2018

Meeting Someone You Like, You Don’t Like, Are Ambivalent Towards

What a strange week it has been. During the last few weeks I have been hyper social. I think I’m on day 15 of going out every night… It’s too much I know but unfortunately there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight, at least not for another week or so. During this time I have met a bunch of new people. Some have stuck out for one reason or another and some are just there. Below is a little reflection on what it feels like to meet new people in the social pool that is New York.

Meeting Someone You Like

This seems rare and the older you get, even rarer. When I say ‘someone you like’ I mean really like. Like they make you feel sparkles and different somehow. Coming into contact with someone new that can promote this type of energy is exciting and it’s hard not to just headlong dive into it. There is a type of magic that seems to be happening and because it’s so rare you embrace it and sometimes with irrational enthusiasm.

It’s a bizarre thing, to think about why you ‘click’ with someone and not with others. Is it timing? Is it some sort of past life re-meeting? Is it some matrix inside joke or is it just fun synchronicity? Who knows, but when it does happen it’s extremely fun because it somehow cracks your reality but also makes you feel more comforted that there are ‘like’ people out there that you feel akin to.

The danger of this magic dance is that it can be entirely all too consuming and possibly delusional. I think instinct is what is key at these moments though. Meeting a new person can energize but can also deplete. Balancing that is important and I think most of us have an internal warning bell that prevents, or at least tries to prevent, us from falling too deep in the mire of the new.

Meeting Someone You Don’t Like

This is pretty rare as well and unpleasant. To me, it’s not really all that bad and not really that discomfiting but more annoying. I truly believe that there are just people that one does not get on with and there may not be any reason why. It’s like animal dislike and while it may be there, stark and reeking, it doesn’t mean that you have to bite each other.

When I encounter someone I don’t like right off the bat its not just by an immediate glance or conversation but a series of cues that accumulate and register in my, ‘no’ box in my mind. These types of interactions are usually easy to avoid once determined but the kicker is when you and that someone you dislike are gravitating in the same social networks and you are somehow stuck bumping into and having to interact with said person. Now that is truly a drag and sometimes dangerous.

It is dangerous because the repeated contact, interaction, even if slight, with the person you don’t get on with accumulates and even the slightest thing about the other person can drive you mad. Then there is the possibility of explosion or lines of war where you both make everyone around you pick sides and then it becomes a hot mess of simmering gossip and pettiness. It’s all very gauche.

What I try to do when I meet someone I don’t like is to just ignore them. I will be polite if I have to be for the sake of others but it’s really quite easy to avoid someone while still being chill about it. I think festering, talking about or fueling one’s dislike for another just leads to bitter, bitter pain and frankly is so awful to be around for others. So ya, sometimes you might be oil and they might be water but who cares, no one wants a oil/water salad to begin with.

Meeting Someone You Are Ambivalent Towards

Maybe this is the cruelest type of interaction, meeting someone that makes no real impression on you. So many times I have met people named, Sarah, Mike, Jessica and so many times I don’t even remember meeting them. And yes, a lot of that is my fault. I’ve probably been drinking and just said ‘hi’ to 40 people and will say ‘hi’ to another 40 by the end of the night but yeah, so many times people get soooo upset that you honestly don’t remember them and the one minute conversation you had with them three weeks ago. 

Outside of meeting people in dense social situations, you sometimes meet these types of people in more intimate settings and although they are just fine and sweet and totally chill, they just someone slide off you mind with no effort by them or yourself. This evaluation probably reveals me to be a jerk, and maybe that is completely true, but dang, this happens a lot, and I think if you are honest with yourself, you will admit to it too.

I’m not sure why some people just feel like wall paper in a social setting and I’m not sure they care about it, which is somehow generous in a way but yeah, blending in seems a bit sad and odd. Most may think it’s the shy ones, the introverted ones, that this pertains too, but that’s not it at all. The shy ones are the most complex many times, but it’s this other type of person, one that is blank and inoffensive and tagging a long that I find so unmemorable.

Monday, January 8, 2018

Guest Conversation with Anonymous Guy

Lying on my bed, recovering from my lifestyle. Going to give you a random splay of thoughts, questions and possible conversations with an almost stranger that happens to be sharing the same space and time with me today.

You are very excited about art. Maybe. My favorite thing you said today was that people need to put time in with art, that it is easy. I think of art is hard…but maybe it is brain damage.

Earlier today I asked someone to ask me a question because I felt like they didn’t ask me enough. They asked me how many dates I had been on in 2018. I had to think about it because I have been ut almost everyday in 2018. It is 2.5 dates.

But really, what had been happening is you had been talking about yourself all morning and forgot that this person had been asking you questions for the past 12 hours. He had a pretty good idea of what all your answers might be at that point.

But really how do you feel about Roberta’s [BUSHWICK]?

Do people enjoy going to art openings or is it some form of social enterprise? I went to an opening last night and I will be honest. I barely saw any of the work there and nor did I even care to. It feels bad to admit that but I think that’s true for nearly everyone there. I liked my friend’s piece but feel bad I had so little curiosity about anything else there.

It’s sort of like sex and music. The music doesn’t really matter unless it is really bad or really good. Otherwise, it is only there for the people that are feeling slightly bored or awkward. In those moments, it’s a great chance to check out and pay attention to something else. Also, if you show up at 8pm to an opening that was from 6-8pm, it’s unlikely that you will look at the art…or get any beer.


I wonder what it’s like. I know what it is like to have the zit—the embarrassment of having a busted face, the pain cuz it hurts…it is huge and won’t go away. But, what’s it like to be the zit? Is it happy taking up all this space? Or is it uncomfortable, just waiting to explode?

Sometimes it feels good to be irresponsible. Most of the time I live my life responsibly. But then there are days/weeks/sometimes months where I just unhinge myself and make what seems like ‘bad’ choices. I think that is something everyone should allow themselves to do, once in a while.

Is every other day once and a while though? I wonder…
I don’t like the feeling of being hung over—not the headache or the nausea, but the airy anxiety that leaves you feeling that you don’t exist…or, that if you do, it doesn’t matter. It’s kind of nice to have someone’s weight on you in that moment to remind you that that anxiety isn’t real.

People have been talking a lot about the weather. The coldness. It’s cold. I think that’s good though. I like how it makes people act different, eat different, dress different, spend time in different ways. It’s sad to be alone when it’s really cold outside.


I’ve never used handcuffs in bed. I have used ropes. I guess that’s something people do sometimes. I wish I could sleep for a whole week straight. I think in the future they will make a drug where you can sleep for a whole week straight and it be okay. I think rich people would really like to brag about how they can sleep all the time. I learned this week that people get upset when you call them ‘rich’ that’s stupid.

I take it as a compliment.

Tuesday, January 2, 2018

Rules For 2018

Sorry everyone that I didn’t blog yesterday. If you saw the state I was in, a barely breathing garbage bag of a person, then you would understand that it was better for everyone that I didn’t even attempt to write anything. Anyways, 2018. Here we are. Another year and I’m not sure about you but 2017 was sort of the worst. I have a feeling that this year will be better. Gawd, it better be so with that in mind I’m going to do a little list of rules for art, life and general things.

Hope 2018 will be the best year yet and here’s to out with the old and in with the new.

Drink Less – Being in the art world is synonymous with drinking. It is hyper social and especially in NYC, alcohol is the fuel and the fire that makes us get through all those social situations. Drinking less can feel hard to do, an active choice that is many times questioned with suspicion or reverse judgment but ya, I think we can all do with some sobriety and restraint. Drinking less makes you sharper in wit, healthier in body and full of less regrets so it’s a win-win all around. If you don’t want to give it up completely why not try to just not drink during the week. It will save you money and is any easy perimeter to follow.

Read More – Reading is solitary and personal but it can also make it so that you have more to talk about with others. Reading is the most enjoyable thing and for me, like I think it is for so many other people, we seem to not have the time to do it as much as we want. Reading takes time, dedicated time, and focus and that is something one has to make conscious effort to do. But reading shouldn’t be a chore or obligation but a means in which to slow down, check out but also engage in other worlds and new ideas.

See More Art – Living in NYC is amazing, so much art all the time. But how often do you see shows? How often do you spend an afternoon walking around Chelsea, the Lower East Side, Uptown, Brooklyn, anywhere else in the city and just look at art? And not only just the shows you want to see but the shows you may not like, the shows you may not even know about? Looking at art is so important to understanding the context of the time we are living and the aesthetic and conceptual turns being made (or not made). I see so much art but I feel I am in a bubble sometimes, expanding what you see if key to keeping yourself engaged and refreshed.

Being Honest – There is a term floating out there called ‘radical honesty’ it’s a bit much in the context/method some people go about applying it but at its core it is an interesting concept. Essentially, it is the practice of being honest with everyone about everything. Brutality may sometimes feel a part of this but I think if done right, with real truth, towards oneself as well, it can be extremely transformative to how you engage with others and also your own perception of self. Honesty is not rudeness or meanness but a form of openness. I think this should be applied to how one views art, talk about it and critiques it but also in the most basic types of things like relationships and oneself. Try it, it’s hard but it’s different and rare.

Doing Things You Like – I know this seems so basic and vague but how often do we really do the things that we like? The construction of our lives are filled with so many forms of obligation or desires to please others that I think a lot of the time we find ourselves trapped in things we don’t truly enjoy. That can be with certain people, certain events, certain careers and jobs just to get by. And of course one can’t just do whatever they want all the time but think about the last few days, the last few weeks. How much of what you have been doing are things you truly enjoyed? If it’s less then 60% then make adjustments.

Find Love – Sorry to be so sappy but love is all we got. Whether that’s romantic, friendships, family or something grey in between, the only thing that will get us through this living business is love. Self-love matters too of course, that is the most important obviously, but giving seeking, wanting and being open to love is just as important. If you have love like that then appreciate it and let those you do know it. If you don’t, it’s okay, just keep looking and know it will happen if you want it to.