Monday, November 12, 2018

My Boring/Busy/Beautiful Life This Past Week, Part VI




Doesn’t it feel like November is already over?! Anyways, what a week. Going to do one of these things cause it’s been a while and yup, can’t think deep thoughts today. Scorpio season is in full effect. I hope we all make it out alive.


Monday 5

I was soooooo depressed (read last post) but I knew I had to just trudge along and trudge along I did. Went to work and was barely cogent but got through it. Afterwards, went to gallery for a meeting to talk about a food project. It was a nice meeting. Went to drinks afterwards and felt a bit better from the buzziness of alcohol and nice conversation. Went to sleep.

Tuesday 6

Voting day! Another day where the whole ‘the universe hates me’ was still in full effect. Went to voting location and waited on a long line even though it was the short line. Sigh. They don’t have my name on record, which is insane since I just voted there for the primaries. Sigh. Fill out an affidavit ballot and walk in rain to subway. Go see therapist. Go to work. Supposed to podcast later that eve but feel like a pile of crap and it’s raining and I just can’t bare to hear the sound of my own voice so I cancel. Go home early and take a bubble bath. Feel a it better. Make hot chocolate and get a hot water bottle. Feel a bit better. Probably watch something, (don’t remember) and fall asleep.

Wednesday 7

Wake up from a crazy dream/nightmare but feel refreshed from all the sleep. Feel like today is the turning point of the depression spell; finally feel like I’m coming up for air. Feels good but also precarious. Go to work. Drop off a piece of work in Dumbo. Go back to Manhattan to kill time before meeting. Walk around Chinatown. Buy some cool, cheap clothes at a martial arts shop. Get to meeting early. Drink wine at the bar. Person comes. Eat mozzarella sticks and drink more drinks. Feel buzzy and relaxed. Person meeting seems young... Another person I know passes by, they come in and we chat. I leave the meeting but have time to kill before friends DJ set. Call friend and we agree to hang out before her set. I get those lycee like fruits that are round brown balls, clementines and soju. We make muddled fruit soju drinks and chat in her room. We get ready to go out. Go to bar for dancing. Dance. Guy comes by and we dance more. Very drunk at this point. Drink more and dance more. Someone picks me up in the air. I think it is fun. Go back in a cab and fall asleep. Can’t remember how I got home…

Thursday 8

Feel like a garbage truck ran over me. Call out of work. Make omelets then immediately need to take a nap. The drinking and depression overlap is not a good idea... Sleep most of the day. Drink seltzer, tea, more seltzer, water. Try to feel better. Go out to eat with friends in Chinatown. Feel like a slug. Eat and chat while eyes half open and wearing sweatpants. Go home and pass out.

Friday 9

Go to work. Go to specialist in Mid-town. Have to check out wtf is up with this lump in my boob. Wait for over an hour. They forgot about me. Sigh. Get mammogram. Have to do 3 times! Freaking out. Get ultra-sound. Wait in a robe with other women waiting in robes. Finally they say it’s all okay. Feel relieved! Feel elated! Feel like my body is my friend again. Supposed to do a studio visit but cancelled it. Go home and make myself a nice meal. Friend texts, she is outside. I share my dinner with her and then she leaves. I watch a baking show and then try to sleep. Insomnia, but it’s okay.

Saturday 10

Go to gallery to meet photographer. Artists come. Photographer comes. Hang out there for more then I expected waiting for photos. Go home and make a grilled cheese. Feel sleepy after eating so take a long nap. Meet up with guy and play pool. Learned how to play 9 ball. It’s fun. Go to a diner for Dominican food. Go to his apartment and chill and watch Planet Earth. Sleep.

Sunday 11

Go back to my apartment and have an urge to clean like a crazy person. Laundry, reorganizing, throwing things away, clean out drawers. Feels productive. Want to go to friends open studio but something last min comes up. Later on go to a sample sale on Canal street. Buy too much but I think that’s okay! Go to a birthday dinner. Eat a lot a drink a little. Go to arcade. Win a stuffed animal. Go home and guy comes over and we watch Planet Earth and fall asleep.