Monday, December 9, 2013

Museums, The Perfect Date

Band of Outsiders, film still, Jean-Luc Godard, 1964
As I mentioned a few weeks ago there are a lot of amazing shows on view at the many museums in NYC.  I of course have been inundated with the act of living and haven’t been able to see any of them yet.  Embarrassing, yes, but I will make amends and plan to see all the below plus other shows about town in the coming weeks. 

December is a strange month, it is full of finishing things but things feel slowed down.  It’s a month for reflection, of summing up a year and to re-evaluate the big and little things.  As the New Year gets closer I can’t help but feel sentimental when it comes to friends and family.  In the end we live then die and all that life is, is a series of people and how you share your life with them.  Cheesy, yes, but hey, honesty is cheesy sometimes.

Below is a list of some shows that are must-sees and some suggestions on who to go with and other accessories to make it a perfect art day. 

Balthus at the Met

Go With: An old friend.  This show is a bit odd in subject matter, lots of pubescent girls and cats.  It may be a wee bit awkward to go with a parent.  It’s like watching movies that have sex scenes with them in the same room.  We are all adults but yes, cringe.  Going with an old friend to the Met is always the best because whether it is a long visit or a short one the Met always has a way of feeling exhaustive. 

Wear: Earth tones.  Possibly a beret or soft hat of some sort.  Comfortable shoes that don’t make loud sounds when you walk.  Wool, velvet, corduroy.

Eat: Eat after, never before, you don’t want to feel sluggish here.  Go to a café, someplace with omelets on the menu.  Mimosas, mussels, basically anything that starts with an M. 

Afterwards:  Walk around Central Park.  It’s strange how rarely one goes there if you don’t happen to be around the block from it.  Go see a movie.  New, old, it doesn’t matter.  It’s a nice way to sit and have a different sort of visual stimulation. 

Isa Genzken at MoMA

Go With:  A gal pal (or a boy if you are a boy).  This show is fresh and it is something you will want to talk about during and after.  Going with a friend that is the same gender will enduce perhaps a different sort of conversation as Genzken is ripe for debate on sex, politics and all else taboo (‘feminism’ might even be said!). 

Wear: Something cool, something comfy.  If you don’t know what that may be then I’m sorry, I can’t help you.  Lipstick.  Not a heavy coat.  Small bag.  Bag checking at MoMA is sooo annoying. 

Eat:  Bloody Marys.  Meat, French fries, anything Americana.  Cake.  Sushi. 

Afterwards: Go to a bar, talk and drink till you can’t do either anymore. 
Chris Burden at New Museum

Go With:  An art friend.  Burden has such a diverse practice and has created many contemporary art historical flash points.  Going with someone who knows this and can talk about it is key to fully appreciating this show.

Wear: Head to toe denim.  Seems weird but seems fitting somehow.

Eat:  Ramen.  Korean Food.  Anything steamy and spicy.

Afterwards:  Watch cartoons.  Drink two bottles of wine.  Walk across the Williamsburg Bridge.
Mike Kelly at MoMA PS1

Go With: Someone you just started to date/want to date.  Mike Kelley is hawt and cool.  Go with someone who you want to make think you are hawt and cool.  PS1 is free which also makes that whole who pays things easy to deal with.  It is also a place that is not overwhelming so it gives you enough time but it’s not an epic day.  Also, Mike Kelley’s work just oozes sex so that will be a nice subliminal to send out. 

Wear: Black.  Leather anything/everything.  Basically look super f-able but also like you just rolled out of bed looking that way. 

Eat:  I know PS1 has that restaurant people love to love but that’s not my thing at all.  Plus that would be weird to do on a date-date (hopefully date).  Instead go to a restaurant in LIC (Long Island City).  LIC is weird, you think it is a wasteland but there are actually some hidden gems there.  I like a Mexican restaurant there.  I forget what it is called but there is a dog in its logo.  It’s really good. 

Afterwards:  Hopefully make out.  If that doesn’t pan out then go to a bar and then hopefully after that you will make out.  Good luck. 

Christopher Wool at the Guggenheim

Go With:  A relative or friend visiting town.  Not hugely into Wool but this will be a nice show to see with someone who is in NYC for a wee bit.  Everyone from out of town likes going to the Gugg.  Plus, there is a Robert Motherwell exhibit on as well and I do like me some Motherwell.

Wear: All white.  Sneakers.  Something furry.

Eat:  With the Guggenheim you can eat before if you want.  Somehow that spiral makes you feel less full.  Lobster.  Indian food.  Granola.  Basically whatever.

Afterwards:  Again, go walk the park a bit.  Get fancy drinks at a fancy hotel bar.  This is a lot funner then one expects.  Watch football. 

Rene Magritte at MoMA

Go With: Parents.  If you have parents like most people’s parents and they are not arty this is the show to see with them.  They will like and appreciate it and you will also like it because it’s Magritte, who is basically the most likable artist out there. 

Wear: Turtleneck.  Blue jeans.  Loafers.  Beige.  Red. 

Eat:  Go somewhere with an art deco interior.  Oysters.  Red wine.  Whole Fish.

Afterwards:  Take a long bath.