Monday, April 13, 2015

Hi, I’m in Milan...


Hi, I’m in Milan and I’m at an art fair which seems to have no need to exist.

Hi, I’m in Milan and the women dress well and their hair looks good and they make walking in heals seem effortless.

Hi, I’m in Milan where the food is good but it isn’t THAT good but people keep talking about how good the food is because they are in Italy and the food is supposed to always be good.

Hi, I’m in Milan and the language is beautiful and it sounds the way it is spelled and hearing little children speak it is so melty to the heart.

Hi, I’m in Milan where you realize that the art world is a big art-band-camp and everyone hangs out in cliques and thinks that they are relevant and living lives of meaning.

Hi, I’m in Milan where I forced someone to hug me because its easier to be nice then to be mean and I thought maybe a hug would counter balance what a misogynist douche bag he is.

Hi, I’m in Milan were I’ve learned to say, grazie, prego, si, buano sera, bonjourno and that’s about it.

Hi, I’m in Milan and in an art fortress where I commiserate with my fellow dealers and drink free warm beer to get through the last hour.

Hi, I’m in Milan where things are cheaper then London and that’s just a very good feeling.

Hi, I’m in Milan where men dress in suits and are fit and tan.

Hi, I’m in Milan where men keep asking me if I’m Japanese and then I tell them I’m Korean and then they nod their head as if they knew that the whole time.

Hi, I’m in Milan where I repeat ‘Dolce & Gabanna’ in my head in a loop.

Hi, I’m in Milan where I keep googling ‘vintage prada bag’ in the hopes that my being in Milan will change the search results.

Hi, I’m in Milan where they like yellow food because they used to put gold flakes in their food for medicinal purposes.

Hi, I’m in Milan and I drank champagne and ate strawberries while thinking about my dissertation topic.

Hi, I’m in Milan where the food markets are amazing and they had five types of artichokes and buckets of strawberries and you realize that THIS is why Italy is known for their love of food.

Hi, I’m in Milan where I thought I was dying of cancer because my mouth and throat burned and my eyes welled shut and my face turned all red but then it ended up being allergies which the drugs the pharmacist gave me fixed but they also made me pass out.

Hi, I’m in Milan and had a clarifying thought that the art world is full of not very smart people who get away with it and that is a big reason why the art world is so boring and vapid.

Hi, I’m in Milan where walking everywhere by yourself makes you realize why being in a relationship is nice because walking, eating, and being by yourself all the time sort of sucks after a while.

Hi, I’m in Milan where I am avoiding people for dear life because I think art fairs turn people into bizarro versions of themselves and I want to grab their hand and run away with them to a better place but then I know that they don’t want to go anywhere and they are happy and glad to be there.

Hi, I’m in Milan where I wish certain people where here and know that if they were everything would be fun and good.

Hi, I’m in Milan where there are a lot of doggies.

Hi, I’m in Milan where buying a small motorbike seems both hot and useful.

Hi, I’m in Milan where people drive and park on the curb.

Hi, I’m in Milan where old men tisk at you if you don’t speak Italian.

Hi, I’m in Milan where things close for hours during the day and that seems chill.

Hi, I’m in Milan where they don’t have bars but have well lit shops that sell gelato, drinks, tobacco and sweets.

Hi, I’m in Milan where old people dress amazingly.

Hi, I’m in Milan where there seems to be a lot of large and small construction zones but no one constructing.

Hi, I’m in Milan where the EXPO is going on and apparently it is run by the mafia if one is to believe the graffiti.

Hi, I’m in Milan where it is sort of dirty but not too dirty and there is a lot of graffiti with anarchy symbols.

Hi, I’m in Milan and being at an art fair in this city makes you realize that the art world is a pure globalized capitalism in its most actualized form.

Hi, I’m in Milan and going to a magazine party with the same people in a new place makes me want to barf, cry and then burn it all to the ground.

Hi, I’m in Milan whose windy streets are charming and baffling if lacking google maps.

Hi, I’m in Milan where men eating gelato by themselves in the evening is just normal and great.

Hi, I’m in Milan where I’m dying for a real conversation but am self defeating since I am avoiding having to talk to anyone unless I have to because they want to pay me a lot of money for something.

Hi, I’m in Milan where you can make a new friend at the bar.

Hi, I’m in Milan where you can see amazing art and religious things.

Hi, I’m in Milan a city that seems relaxed and comfortable with itself.

Hi, I’m in Milan and I ate really amazing Sichuan Chinese food and read Adorno.

Hi, I’m in Milan and I walked in the park that has white walkways so all I wanted to do the rest of the day was to find gaudy cheap sunglasses.

Hi, I’m in Milan and I tried not overeating but then I passed a pastry stall and I ate a giant donut.

Hi, I’m in Milan and I can’t stop walking into every pastry and bread shop.


Hi, I’m in Milan and I wish I could stay longer and have more daylight and lay on the grass and drink wine, read, and take a nap with ones near and dear.